Song for a Sentry
by Sweeney7760
Summary: Sequel to Clumsy Courtship of Caterina Valentine. England, 1914. "While Sir. Robert and Lady Caterina were pleasantly happy with settling down to a quiet life in the countryside... it seemed the world had other plans."... Mainly Cabbie, small hints of Bori with cameos from Jade/André. Warning: Dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Screams erupted through the halls of Blackwater Manor during the dark night of June 23rd in 1914. The lights were flicked on, illuminating the path as Lady Caterina Shapiro ran down the staircase in search of the sound. She had been waiting for this moment; all of the staff had been anticipating this, on the edge for days wondering when it would occur.

Rushing to the phone she dialled it hastily, muttering to herself as she waited for the phone to be answered, "It's time!" she screamed excitedly, "I need you here now!"

Slamming the phone down she rushed down to the staircase to the servant's quarter where Tori was doubled over on the floor, panting heavily as she clutched on to her husband's hand.

"I called the doctor." She informed Beck who was attempting to lift her, "He will be here in five minutes. Now let's get her on to one of the guest beds."

Together with the help of the other servants, Tori was brought to the closest available room. Sir Robert passed his wife on the staircase as she rushed back down to get some towels and water.

"Is it happening?" he asked.

Cat gave him a fleeting nod, "Yes, If you want to stay away we will understand."

Caterina knew that her husband would not be able to handle being in the same room, it would bring back to many bad memories of his mother. He was already noticeably shaken by the screeches that were dominating the sound of the Manor.

"I'm going to go outside for a smoke." He informed her.

Caterina flicked her hand at him as she rushed through the atrium to return to the bedroom, she wanted to be involved with the birth of her best friend's first child, she didn't want to miss a moment... although the same could not be said for Tori, who was begging for it to end.

"I hate you!" she screeched at Beck, her brown hair sticking to the sweat that coated her face and neck, "This is so painful!" she complained, wailing as she slumped back on the pillow.

Beck took the aggression directed at him, not wincing once as Tori applied more pressure to his hand, he could not complain about the pain he was feeling. Tori would only use it as ammo to hurl more abuse. Tori could not think straight, her body was in flames, all she could feel was excruciating pain, it made her vision clouded, blackened with large dots.

"Tori I need you to stay with me." Doctor Carter ordered, "Caterina place the damp cloth on her head."

Suddenly Tori felt a cold water dribble down her face and it brought her back slightly, she still felt the pain but she no longer felt faint.

"Okay Tori give me one big push!" he demanded.

Tori scream was so loud she could have shattered all of the glass within a five-mile radius, she wanted this baby out of her. No she needed it out of her.

"I can't!" she wailed, "It's too hard."

"Come on Tori." Caterina begged, "Just one more big push."

Gritting her teeth, Tori pushed, ignoring Beck's scream of pain and Cat exclamation of, "I can see the head!"

She had one task at hand, this had to end. She was so tired, she wanted to sleep so badly. Then she heard a small cry, the wails of a newborn and she realised it was over, the pain was over. Laughing slightly with relief she forced herself to sit up to look at her baby.

Beck kissed his wife's hair, unable to take his eyes from his baby, "Well what is it?" he asked.

The doctor beamed, "By the looks of it, you are the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl."

Caterina squealed delightedly, "Tori! You're a mother!"

Tori smiled as the baby was placed in her caring grasp, she cooed at her baby and kissed its newly cleaned forehead, "Hi baby. You were a lot of hard work." She joked, "But you were definitely worth it."

Handing the baby over to Beck he cradled his daughter, bringing her over to the Lady Caterina he said, "Say hello to your Godmother."

Caterina smiled up at Beck, "Godmother?"

"I could not think of anyone better and I am sure Tori would agree if she wasn't asleep." Beck responded as his eyes flicked protectively over to his wife, "She is alright isn't she doctor?"

Doctor Carter smiled as he checked her heart rate with the stethoscope, "She is perfectly fine. It is just a case of exhaustion. But she will definitely need to rest tomorrow."

Caterina nodded, "That is no problem, she can remain her."

Beck smiled, "Lady Caterina that is very kind but I do not think you're mother would approve. I can move her to the cottage."

Caterina flicked her forefinger up to silence her butler, "I will not hear of it, I do not care what my mother has to say about it. I am the owner of Blackwater, not her."

Caterina led Dr. Carter back down to the entrance of the manor, thanking profusely for his assistance, "And you are certain she is safe because my husband's mother died of a complication and-"

"Lady Caterina." He interrupted, "I assure you, your maid will be fine."

Caterina flushed slightly, "I am sorry, I just over-react about these things."

As he opened the door, he smiled sympathetically at Lady Caterina, "that is perfectly natural. Madam I hope I do not sound to forward by asking if you are upset about the complication you had?"

Caterina smiled slightly, brushing off his question, "Not at all, that was not meant to be. Goodnight Dr. Carter."

He tipped his hat politely, "Goodnight Milady."

Caterina sighed as she travelled back up the staircase into her bedroom, switching off the light she crawled back into the bed that Sir. Robert was curled up in. He turned to face her as she got under the covers and held her close, "Is she alright?"

She murmured quietly, "She had a girl."

Sir. Robert kissed her forehead, "Don't be disheartened Cat. We will be next."

Caterina curled closer into him, uncertain how to reply. Instead she closed her eyes and pretending to sleep. But her thoughts where plagued by the events of the past year. How she had spontaneously married Sir. Shapiro after he declared his love for her, narrowly escaping losing her estate. She was blissfully happy, there was no denying that. The pair complimented each other perfectly, everyone they met always commented on that, they seemed so opposite that they were perfect for each other.

Caterina had taken over her mother's role as head of the house along with Sir. Robert, which basically meant that she could do as she pleased, which she enjoyed greatly. She spent countless hours outside, riding her horse, drawing and painting. The house was now filled with her designs, much to her mother's disapproval. But Robert had insisted that they were displayed, so they had been placed in various spots, mainly they could be found in the servant's bedroom to make them seem more homely.

A few months ago Caterina and her husband had received tremendous news: Caterina was with child. Sir. Robert was so pleased, before Caterina he had imagined that the Shapiro name would die out because he would never have an heir. Now he could not think of anything grander than a child to call his son or daughter. Caterina was ecstatic to be pregnant along with her best friend, they had joked about how the two could grow up together and become life-long friends.

But that was not meant to be.

Caterina remembered the event so vividly the event could have only happened yesterday, She was sitting out on the terrace, sipping tea and painting a portrait of the landscape when she had felt the most tremendous pain in her side. The china cup slipped out of her hand and shattered into pieces as Caterina fell to the ground, fainting from the pain.

She had woken up an hour later, her husband sitting beside her, holding her hand faithfully as she lay on the hospital bed. He looked upset. Caterina did not need to ask what had happened, she knew she lost her baby.

That was why she was so involved in Tori's pregnancy after that moment, she had to ensure that neither mother or child would be in danger. At least she had succeeded in that part.

""""""""""""""

Sir Robert was surprised by how much he had grown to love the countryside, being married to someone like Cat had that effect on him. She forced him to go on long walks, join in on the hunt and she even showed him her favorite part of the woods, the small clearing with the single willow tree. They would spend afternoon together in this secluded area, under the covers of the large, drooping leaves until nightfall. Where just for a while they could get away from the pressures of society and the wailings of Caterina's suffocating mother. Just enjoying each others company.

He was right about Caterina, she was not like other women. He never got tired of listening to her talk and while she had not lost herself, she became more comfortable in her social role. With Sir. Robert by her side she felt more confident at parties, she was still the envy of most girls.

She was the lucky one who got to keep him after all.

Sir. Robert was sad to leave London once he had packed up his father's house. His funeral had been difficult, one moment he went from being on a high from eloping with Lady Caterina, to horribly upset from burying his father. Caterina had been supportive, making the journey with him and saying kind words about a man she never knew when Robbie got too choked up to say anything. She gripped his hand tightly as his father was lowered into his grave, where he would remain forever. Side-by-side with his wife.

Many had been surprised when she introduced herself as Lady Caterina Shapiro and soon enough the gossip spread like a wildfire, that Lord. Shapiro had married a simple girl from the countryside. Not that he cared at all, he was proud to have a wife like Cat and he didn't care who knew that Sir. Robert had finally stopped his wicked adulterous lifestyle for monogamy.

But that is the curious thing about life, monogamy... it seemed to screamed dull and dreariness. Nothing like the life that Robert once had. But the world has a funny way of never being simple, there is constant turns and twists that no one could see coming.

That's what made life bearable, the possibility that anything can happen.

And while Sir. Robert and Lady Caterina were pleasantly happy with settling down to a quiet life in the countryside, it seemed like the world had other plans.

Beginning with the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his pregnant wife.

* * *

**So you know what I am like! I can barely rest when I have an idea... In fact I do not rest!**

**Serious Problem!**

**Need to also think of/ make a cover photo for this..**

**Anyone want to help me out? :P**

**ALSO Titles are HARD... Ideas would be helpful!**

**So there we go Tori had a baby and Cat didn't... Happy and sad at the same time :/**

**Let me all know what you think so far!**

**This story is definitely going to require me doing some research ;)**

**and i will write the prequel maybe even alongside this one :D**

**Lots of Love**

**:D xoxoxoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"This is unbelievable." Robert muttered to himself as he read the headline of the newspaper.

It was disgusting, a powerful man and his wife were both assassinated by a group of Serbian terrorists. Not only that but they brutally murdered his wife, subsequently ripping away three human lives in one night. It was still a current topic almost a month later, which meant that Lady Caterina would be distraught for another day. She was constantly uneasy now when she heard the news because it would only heighten the rumours that were being whispered throughout the country.

That this act would spark the greatest war the world has ever seen.

The death of the Archduke of Austria had completely blackened the birth of Natalie Oliver, who was thriving under the constant care of Caterina, Beck or her mother. Now a month old you could tell that the child was going to bless with huge blue eyes and luscious brown hair. Caterina had insisted that Tori little Natalie would remain in the nursery while Tori continued her work. It meant that Caterina got to spend time with the little blessing, much to her mother's disapproval. But Cat would not budge on the matter, her godchild would stay in the nursery while she was in charge of Blackwater.

"Maybe someday you will have a friend to stay in this room with you." Caterina said softly as she cradled the baby who was sleeping silently. Setting the baby down in the crib she sigh as her hand fluttered absentmindedly to her stomach.

"Are you upset?"

The voice behind her surprised her and she turned quickly, smiling back at her husband she shook her head, "No of course not." She timidly replied, "I am happy for Tori."

Sir. Robert frowned, but before he could reply to her Lady Rebecca burst into the room, like a ball of energy she bounced around the room, the newspaper in her hand.

"I knew I would find you both here." Lady Rebecca hissed, "Caterina you need to be more involved in the preparations for the dinner tonight!"

Caterina scowled at her mother as she snatched the newspaper from her, "How can you even think about having a party when this is the headline mother. War could be declared at any minute."

Lady Rebecca dismissed that remark, "Cat my darling, it is just a nasty rumour. This will all be smoothed over in no time and you told me yesterday how excited you were to Lady Jadelyn and Lord Harris again."

Sir. Shapiro kissed his wife's cheek, "I am going to go into the town for a while."

Caterina scowled at him, wanting so much to slap him when he winked at her as soon as her mother was not looking. He smiled condescendingly as he bolted out the door making Caterina scowl, if only she could get away from her mother that easily.

"Sometimes I wonder why I married him." She joked to her mother.

"Nonsense he makes a splendid husband!" Lady Valentine replied, not catching the sarcasm in her voice, "Now come Caterina, we only have a few more hours."

Wrapping an arm around her daughter she assisted her out of the nursery and forced her to move down the corridor. Along the way they passed Tori who was vigorously polishing the wooden staircase, her cheeks reddened from the effort.

"Oh Tori." Lady Rebecca snapped her finger and Tori stood up quickly.

"Ma'am."

"Tonight could you please take your daughter to your own house. I do not want a crying child ruining my festivities."

Tori blush deepened from embarrassment, dipping her head she muttered, "Oh course madam." before returning to violently polishing the banister.

Caterina locked eyes with her best friend and mouthed a quick apology as she followed her mother down the staircase and into the living area. Lady Rebecca knew that Caterina thought she was being harsh on her oldest friend but she was just being a realist. While she was still alive and breathing she would attempt to instill some form of proper conduct... that her daughter had become so lax with.

"Mother I do not care about this." Caterina complained, "Why can you not take care of this, it is technically your party after all."

Lady Rebecca rolled her eyes at her only daughter, "Because Caterina, you need to teach you how to run a manor and plan the prefect party before I am dead and buried. Besides a party will be heartwarming, it will remind everyone that we are still a loving community and it will take your mind off of these foolish war rumours."

Lady Caterina sighed, despite what her mother said, Caterina was certain that a ball could not fix the problems the country was facing.

"""""""""""""""""

Sir Robert bounded up the driveway as the first guest was arriving. Darting into the house he rushed up the staircase to change out of his boots that were caked in mud. His valet, Mr. Clarkson was waiting for him, suit and polished shoes in hand.

He smiled in relief, "You are a life saver Clarkson."

The valet resisted the urge to smile as he placed the dinner jacket on his master, using his hand to flick off stray pieces of lint, "Lady Caterina was searching for you an hour ago, she was not pleased that you rushed away from the manor."

Shaking hands with his valet, he gave him a quick thank you before rushing down the staircase, tucking in his cravate as he rushed out of the front to stand beside Caterina and her mother, who were recieving the guests. Caterina glared at him before warmly greeting Sir. Dashwood, an acquaintance from Lancashire. Sir. Robert frowned when he saw an old friend pull around, his Ford Model T.

Charleston nodded at him slightly, before opening the door for Lady Jadelyn West. She smiled directly at the driver before confidently striding over to the happy couple. She had not seen them in so long that she had almost forgotten how disgustingly in love they were. It seemed to radiate around them, the closer she approached, the worse it became.

That is not to say she did not enjoy visiting her cousin and his wife, she especially loved the look on Robert's face when she had emerged from his old car, one that he had given her as a parting gift. Partly because he was leaving London, but mostly for saving the his wife's reputation on the day of their wedding. Yes that was one secret she had promised never to divulge to anyone: the secret double-life of Miss Caterina Shapiro.

"Jadelyn." Robert said stiffly, still staring longingly at his car, "I trust your journey was pleasant."

"Yes but frightfully long and tedious." she complained, her lips curling slightly, "But the car is just so comfortable and Charleston is a delightful driver. Although you already knew that didn't you Robert?"

Caterina tried to conceal her laugh with her cough when her mother slapped her arm slightly, causing Jadelyn smile to grow. Sir. Robert held out his hand, and grabbed her arm.

"Darling cousin!" he exclaimed as he lead her into the atrium, "Let's get you a drink."

""""""""""""""""

Caterina was a little ashamed to admit that she was enjoying herself at this party, Jadelyn was providing light relief for her constantly. She was one of the few who could poke fun at anyone and get away with it. She was behaving rather recklessly, going up to all of the older males and insisting they have another drink with her until they were intoxicated. Lady Caterina had to leave the room to laugh because the men had began to dance so terribly it had almost brought her mother to an early grave. This was not the elegant soireé that she had desired at all.

She was having a wonderful time, dancing properly with her husband and gossiping with Jadelyn and Lord. Harris. Until she made an entrance.

Of course she had to arrive fashionably late, she always loved to make a scene. Lady Rebecca squealed excitedly as she bobbed over to meet the stunning female.

"Who is that?" Jadelyn muttered to Lord. Harris, who was staring at the female with a look of pure idiocy.

"That is Miss Isabella de Bourgh." she said scathingly as she gulped down the remainder of her champagne, "I cannot believe she came."

Lady Isabelle, with her striking eyes that shone four different shades of green when they hit the light, her golden hair was always perfectly styled in loose curls that shaped her heart-shaped face. She was taller, prettier and a lot meaner that Caterina, polar opposites in every way. From a young age they had loathed each other, from the second their mother's had set them up on a play date they knew they would be enemies. It had been that way ever since, the girls in competition with each other to find a husband. Their mothers had taken them to all the same balls and Lady Isabelle would always strop off in a rage when all of the men flocked around Caterina like lost sheep.

Caterina smiled to herself, she had the upper hand here. For she was married to one of the most desirable men in all of England while Lady Isabelle was alone.

"Lady Caterina." Isabelle smiled as she clasped her hand, "I wondered when we would meet again."

Caterina rolled her eyes, "Yes well my husband just insisted that we throw this party to keep the spirits up."

Her tactless emphasising of the word, "husband" caused Lady Jadelyn to snort with laughter.

Isabelle nodded, "Ah yes I heard about your surprise marriage to Sir. Shapiro. Do you know where he is? I would so much like to talk to him once more."

Suddenly Caterina did not feel cocky anymore, her palm became clammy as she clutched her champagne flute tighter. Pressing her lips together she tried to calm herself.

"You know my husband?" she asked, her voice strained slightly.

Lady Isabelle laughed slightly, "Last year when I visited London, we had an... encounter."

"Indeed." Lady Caterina coolly replied, as she handed Lady Jadelyn her empty glass, "Would you excuse me a moment?"

Swiftly walking away Lady Caterina, she left Isabelle in the company of Lady Jadelyn, hoping that her quick witted friend would send her to tears as she went in search of her inconsiderate husband. She found him moments later, lurking at the doors that opened into the patio where they had their first real moment together, pushing him outside she shut the doors behind her.

"What did I do?" he asked uncertainly.

Judging by the looks on his wife's face he had done something that he immediately needed to apologise for. Lady Caterina's eyes were narrowed, her small fists clenched at her side and she stared her husband down. She knew about her husband's past better than anyone else, but she did not under any circumstances enjoy someone using it as leverage against her.

"Lady Isabelle is looking for you." she hissed, "She relished in informing me that she had a romantic trist with my husband! Really Robbie, Lady Isabelle. What is the matter with you?! We despise each other!"

He scoffed slightly, which did not help his cause at all, Lady Caterina went to slap him. He anticipated it, grabbing her arm before her hand made contact with his tender cheek. Slamming his lips on to hers, he kissed her quickly before laughing at her absurdity.

She scowled as she attempted to push him back, "I am still mad at you. Do not think that you can distract me by-"

He kissed her again, "Cat, I met her before I even knew you and I have told you countless times that I do not care for any of the women from my past. I only care about you."

"She is just a reminder of the amount of partners you have had, I will never be able to escape the fact that so many came before me."

Sir. Robert clasped his wife's hand as he opened the french doors, "But Cat you have to remember that you were the last, the most important. The one that I was waiting for. Do not let this possess your thoughts. We can conquer anything as long as we are together."

Leaning against her husband's arm she sighed contently as they walked through the atrium to rejoin the party, "You are right."

Entering the grand hall again, they were taken aback by the silence that had claimed the court. No one was speaking, the band had stop playing and everyone was frozen to the spot, listening intently to the radio that had just been turned on. Caterina rushed forward to listen closely, using her hand to suffocate the scream that was attempting to burst out of her. Grabbing Robbie she held him close, as she felt her panic rise. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Knowing that life would never be the same after this moment.

The guests began to panic, commotion breaking out as Lady Rebecca tried to salvage her party. But it was useless, no one would want to pretend that everything was okay when it certainly was not. Rushing to the doors, they demanded their cars, attempting to get home to be with their family. The future was so uncertain now and no one was safe.

Great Britian has just declared war against Germany.

* * *

**Craic lads ;)**

**CHANGED THE TITLE!**

**Thank you Silent Hopes :D I loved it, the sibilance just makes it so nice to say :D**

**Like the chapter?**

**Slapping Robbie is certainly Cat's go to move when she is feeling vulnerable :P**

**and oh no war... almost no one saw that coming (!) ;) **

**Love you guys!**

**xoxoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Caterina would like to say that she handled the news of the war well, that she kept her emotions in tact every morning when she picked up the newspaper and began to read the stories, the gruesome stories surrounding invasion, deaths and bombings.

What had happened to the world, when did it become so morbid and hateful?

On the second page was the advertisement she had been dreading, everyday there was a new one that spelled doom for the young girl. Glancing over the table towards Robbie she locked eyes with him. She could always read his emotions if she looked at his eyes, today they were dull, almost lifeless. She knew this was the beginning of something awful, something that they could not conquer together.

There was a collective sense of dread in the Manor that had effected every living soul, the horse were restless, the dogs howled, the maids busied themselves with their work while the men stared blankly at the walls, as if in a trance. They were petrified, everyone knew what would happen if they announced a war.

Parliament had issued a plea for 100,000 new soldiers. Every able man would be expected to enlist in the army.

Caterina felt as if the walls were closing in, it was difficult to breath in this manor, a iron fist was clamped around her throat and at any moment it would choke her. She stayed until she could take it no longer, pushing her chair back she fled the horrible atmosphere. She rushed outside, ignoring Robbie's pleas for her to return, she could outrun him, darting into the woods she twisted around the trees, dodging them at every instance. Taking as many turns as possible she stopped running, fighting for breath.

She needed to be alone, she had to find solitude.

It had been a week since the war had been announced; men all over the country were packing up their belongings, heading to London to protect their country, for a medical check to see if they were eligible. Caterina had lost many of her staff already. The stable boys were gone, leaving only a sixteen year old from the village to work alone with all of the horses, footmen and valets all disappearing... They had lost Beck two days ago.

Tori was a wreck when Beck told her that he had to enlist but she did not try to stop him. She had brought him down to the train to say their final goodbyes and maybe for the last time, Beck held his daughter close to him, kissing her small forehead before he boarded the train, leaving Yorkshire for the first time in his life.

Tori was not the same after that, Caterina noticed it instantly. Her best friend was leading a half-life, as if her body was in one place; moving, functioning, understanding that she had a duty to fulfill but her soul was in a completely different place, she hadn't smiled in days.

Collapsing under her willow she wept for the third time today. This week had been heart wrenching and it was only a matter of time before she would be a victim of the war. She was waiting for him to bring it up, waiting to hear him mutter the words that would break her. Grabbing her sketch book she snatched pulled out a pencil from her bun and began to sketch, closing her eyes she let the pencil move across the page. She hadn't tried to sketch like this since she had drawn the picture of Lord Fitzgerald, she was too afraid of the outcome. But she wanted to know, she needed to know.

Opening her eyes, she glanced down at the page and her hand flew to her mouth. It was horrendous, it was the most terrifying thing she had ever produced. Open flames claiming the once green grass, bunkers dug 15 feet into the ground with petrified men hunched over inside them, deflecting the shots that were being pelted at them by the enemy. The sky was blackened by smoke and soot, she could practically hear the screams of the injured. But what made her stomach churn the most was the bodies... the endless line of still men, those who had fallen.

Flinging the sketch away she placed her head in her hands, bringing her knees up to her chin. If she could imagine something like that, the reality of it was probably ten times worse. She sat in that position for what felt like hours, time seemed to bleed away impossibly slow when your mind was cursed with only negative thoughts.

"I knew I would find you here."

Caterina didn't look up, tears were already falling from her face and on to the soft moss below. Sir. Robert sat beside his wife, out of breath from trying to find his bearings after she had led him on a wild chase around the large wood. Leaning against the trunk of the willow he pulled her into his arms and on to his lap, cradling her as she cried into his shirt.

"Cat, you know I have to go." He told her, he forced himself to not breakdown, he had to be strong for her, "If I did not I would be branded a coward for life. They need my help."

"But you might never come back." She murmured into his shirt, her voice shaking with fear.

"That is a possibility." He accepted, "But do not kill me off yet, I am pretty nifty with a riffle you know." He sighed heavily when he registered that Cat was being unresponsive.

Attempting to soothe her, he kissed the top of her head, "Wars cannot last forever Cat, it may be over in a month, we do not know what the future holds."

Caterina gave him a blazing look before she brought her lips to his and kissed him deeply. Robbie could sense the desperation in this kiss, the need, the want... the heartbreak.

Breaking the kiss she looked up at him, "Please don't leave me all alone." She begged, "I love you, I don't want to lose you."

"I know and I love you too. But I have to go. You will not be alone, you have your mother, Tori and the baby, they are your priority from now on." He forced himself to carry on, his voice thick, "You are strong Cat, I know you can get through this."

Her bottom lip quivered as she held back more tears, "I wish I could come with you."

Robbie's eyes flashed with concern, "Cat, do not even think of donning your alter-ego costume to join me in the regiment!" he heatedly replied, "I would never be able to concentrate on keeping myself safe if I knew you were in danger."

Despite the horrible situation she was in Caterina laughed slightly, although it sounded more like a croak, "Robbie I am certain they would figure out that I am not a man when they performed the medical examination."

"You know what I mean. I want you to worry about keeping yourself safe. I have no intention of dying. Not now that I have something to live for."

"When are you leaving?" Caterina asked as she placed her head back down on his chest, she could hear his steady heartbeat, making her more anxious because now it was pulsing... but in a month or maybe two, there was a very good chance that his heart may stop beating.

"Tonight. You know I already went to see the doctor and he gave me the papers that state I am a perfect candidate for training." He tried to make light of the situation, "Although would you have doubted that I wouldn't be perfect? I mean I am Robert Shapiro after all."

Caterina closed her eyes, choosing not to reply to his usual conceited remark about his appearance, she didn't even playfully slap him like she normally would. He decided no more words where needed, all that mattered at the moment was being here with Cat, making the most of their final moments together.

Noticing the sketchbook that lay open on the ground, Robbie stared at the new sketch and his stomach sank, newfound fear flowing around his body. Caterina had never before drawn anything this dark before, it was horrifying and it made him wonder... what if this was a premonition? Was he one of the men in the trenches?

Or worse, was he among the dead?

Slipping Cat off his lap he grabbed the sketch book and tore out the page. Emerging from the willow he continued tearing up the single page until all that remained was a pile of tiny shreds in the palm of his hand. Spreading his fingers, they watched as it the pieces scattered in the breeze, never to be seen again.

"Cat, I do not want you to draw anything like this again." He ordered, his voice commanding but soft at the same time, "This will only make you more anxious when you needn't be."

Caterina nodded, understanding her husband's urgency. She should have hidden it, not even thinking of the effect it would have on him. If she was frightened, she dreaded to think what it would be like for him.

"I won't" she promised, "If you swear that you will come back to me."

His facial expression softened as he closed the gap between them, lightly caressing her cheek before kissing her once more.

"I will come back. I swear it."

"""""""""""""""

That night was the hardest the pair had ever experienced; so many words were unspoken as they stood at the train station, waiting for the arrival of the final train. Sir. Shapiro glanced around at all of the other boys who were clearing planning on joining the regiment; mothers were crushing their eldest sons in tight grips while their younger siblings were running around the station chasing each other, completely ignorant to the tension on the platform. Some of the younger boys were excited, gleefully waiting for the train that would whisk them away to a better life. To some extent Robert understood this, the army would be attractive to some, it was a chance to highlight your bravery and for the poorest it meant that they could show that they were worthy of respect.

Caterina was grasping his hand so tightly he was certain the circulation was cut off. He felt numb, not just in his hand, but all over his body. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it meant the pain of leaving her was dulled. As the train entered the station Caterina began to cry again, along with all of the other women at the station. They all felt so helpless, worthless even. They had nothing to give, they had no way of helping as the men gave up their lives for their country.

Robbie kissed her again, and again and one more time for luck.

"I will write every time I get the chance." He assured her, his breathing shaky as the boys all surged forward to get on the train.

He got swept up in the tidal wave of anxious town boys, his hand was tugged away from Cat who cried out his name. As he was pushed on the train he fought his way into the first class compartment, to the nearest window. Gazing out of it he spotted the red-haired beauty, who was desperately searching for him on the platform. He banged on the window but she didn't spot him.

The train began to shift, slowly gathering speed. He banged on the window again, frantically trying to make her notice him. Finally in the last second she found him, her eyes popping with relief as she grabbed the end of her dress. She tried to match the speed of the train as she rushed to the end of the platform.

"Stay safe." She shouted.

He nodded, his hand on the window grew cold, already missing her touch, "I love you." He mouthed.

She responded with, "I love you." But instead of mouthing it she screeched it, not caring that she was causing a scene.

The women watched the exchanged between the couple, their hearts aching for the loss of their sons, husbands and neighbours. But they agreed that this scene was truly heartbreaking. They all knew Lady Caterina Shapiro, the kindest girl in the whole of Yorkshire. The girl was so unlike her mother, who had really no respect for the lower class. Caterina had always treated them as equals. So naturally they were all ecstatic that she had finally found her other half. But know, just like them, she had to let her husband go and perform his duty.

One of the shopkeepers walked over to Lady Caterina and wordlessly took her hand. This single embraced expressed to Cat comradeship, that the pain she felt was mutual. Together the women all banded together, watching as the train sped off into the distance, taking their men to meet their fate.

* * *

**So yeah... Robbie and Beck are off to war, along with André too only he hasn't been mentioned yet. :/ sad times.**

**and CabbieLoverSAC22, you are so right, this is subtly teaching you history.. well it's teaching me at least. Spent a good hour reading up on the British army of 1914-1918.**

**I already have a pretty certain idea of what is going to happen in this story, loosely using plot lines from Downton Abbey, Cat is going to train to be a nurse.**

**Jade is going to evacuate to the Yorkshire to be with Cat, where she may part take in a romantic relationship of sorts... Got to have some light relief like!**

**Anyway lots of love to all my readers/reviewers! :D**

**xoxoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Half of year of pain, sorrow and misery.

In that time Lady Caterina had only heard from him once, in one short letter. She snatched it from the tray that the Butler had held out for her, desperate to open it. For one glorious moment her fear had subsided, this letter meant that for the time being he was still with her. She gasped at his once elegant handwriting. It was slanted, shaky. Was he petrified when he was writing this letter, was that what had caused the writing to be so terrible.

He spoke of mundane activities, he couldn't tell her the location for obvious reasons, so instead he told her about the weather, the constant heat that was slowly tanning his skin. He explained that the war was not as bad as they were making out in the papers, obvious propaganda for the ignorant. The sign off was a simple, "I love you and I will see you soon."

There was no mention of leave so Caterina had deduced that "See you soon" was really code for, "See you maybe in another month or two." She did not believe a word of his letter, she refused to accept that the stories of the war was only tales, she had seen the horrific state it had left some of the men in.

Everyday she dreaded sleep; the doctor's had diagnosed Caterina with insomnia. Her mother had requested that Doctor Carter visited her after she had found Caterina manically scrubbing pots in the scullery.

It threw her mother into a tizzy, Lady Rebecca feared the war... but it was for selfish reasons. War meant change that Lady Rebecca was not ready to see, the world was spiralling into anarchy, Caterina was a Lady and a Lady should never scrub a pan, that job was meant only for the lower class. She needed her Manor to remain as it was, she had never really approved of the closeness between employer and mistress.

So instead Caterina busied herself with other activities. She ventured into the library, setting out to read every book in the room. She would read anything to avoid sleep, once she had resorted to reading the dictionary. Sleep meant dreaming, and with a vivid imagination like hers that meant she only pictured nightmares, unimaginable horrors lurked in her mind, so she had to lock them away. Sleep was the key to their getaway.

The first night alone was the hardest, getting into the large, unwelcoming and cold marital bed almost took all of the breath from her lungs. She lay on his side of the bed, clutching his pillow, relishing in the scent that would eventually fade. She had managed to sleep that night, knowing that Robbie still had to train before he would be in any real danger. However it was that night when the dreams had attacked her.

She dreamed of a field, she was a vision in the most intricate red dress she had ever seen, she wore no shoes, the grass tickled her feet as she padded through the poppy field. Plucking one of the flowers as she passed through the field she placed it behind her ear, enjoying the luxurious scent of the flowers and the blissfully unusual heat from the sun. She heard him call her name and she beamed, a melodious laugh escaped her lips as she searched for him. The more she ran she louder his voice got, and suddenly he was there.

Laughing with relief he lurched for her and grabbed her, picking her up she squealed as he held her close. This moment was so perfect that it made her heart swell, she wanted this moment to last, long enough for her to seal it on paper, everything about it was just so beautiful.

Then a feeling made her uneasy, it felt like a pressure on her shoulder, one so cold that it burned her skin. It rushed down her spine as if someone had dribbled water down her back. The sky darkened, a thick smog snuffing out the burning sun. When she looked up at Robbie his appearance had changed. He no longer smiled, his handsome face was covered in scratches and dirt, his green uniform that was coated with mud, he wore a helmet that was dented and scratched. Her heart pounded when she spotted the riffle that was pointed at her chest. The landscape melted around Caterina, the veil of protection surrounding them was destroyed as a shell exploded near them sending mud and debris into the atmosphere. Caterina screamed as the men charged, shattering cries of fear rattled in the distance as the fought the enemy. Her dress began to peel away every time a man fell, the material transforming into a river of blood that soaked her pale skin. She fought her way through the devastation to search for Robbie, he had to be safe, he couldn't die, it was not his time.

Everything slowed, the fire was shot and she screamed, she caught the eye of her killer before the bullet hit her chest. She closed her eyes, waiting for death to claim her, to feel the pain of the wound. Instead she heard the wail of her name, then a screech of pain from someone else. Opening her eyes she saw her husband, his eyes unmoving, his lips blue... cold and lifeless.

Tori had slapped her awake that night, she had to pin her down on the bed to stop her from trembling. From that moment on Caterina tried to avoid sleep, she would only briefly nap each day to keep her going.

Tonight Caterina was leafing through one of the many romantic novels her mother insisted on reading when she heard the grandfather clock sound in the atrium. Her eyes flicked to the small clock upon the mantelpiece, today marked her twentieth birthday. She was no longer a teenager, finally an adult.

Fluttering her eyes shut she silently prayed for Robbie, her birthday wish was solely to get him home safely. It was not fair at all, he should be here, celebrating with her instead of fighting for his life in this god forsaken war.

"""""""""""""""

Tori discovered Lady Caterina the next day, curled up on the small sofa in the library, her breathing soft as she took her power nap. Tori smiled sympathetically at her friend, she knew exactly what she was experiencing, sleep was difficult for her too, however her everyday duties exhausted her so she had little time to worry.

She had received a letter from Beck also, the staff had all gathered around as she ripped the letter open. She felt her stomach sink as she looked at the card, It was a singled ticked box, "Alive". That was it, that was all she was being told. She needed to know more, what did alive mean, was he injured at all? Later when she had shown it to Cat, she patiently explained to her that because Beck was illiterate they handed out those cards to all the men so they could tell their loved ones the essentials. At least she knew he was alive, and yet, Tori couldn't help but being envious of her best friend who at least had a heartfelt letter from her other half.

Natalie grew every day, at seven months she had a hearty appetite and on one salary it was difficult to keep up with. Caterina had offered to do what she could, keep her in the nursery and give Tori a raise to help with the demands but she had refused. Ever since Lady Rebecca had made that comment about her daughter in the nursery she had not felt comfortable keeping her there, so instead she paid one of the local girls to mind her daughter while she worked to put food on the table. It was a struggle, but she had to make it work.

Her daughter gave her strength, everyday she would return home to her smiling face and she knew that she could stand to work another day.

Setting the tray of food down she approached the sofa and gently shook her awake, "Cat." She murmured, "Happy birthday."

Eyes snapping, the iris' dark black with alert before calming when she spotted Tori, "Did I fall asleep?" She scolded herself, "Damn it, I overslept."

Tori tutted at her friend as she grabbed the tray, "Your mother will be searching for you soon, I assume she thinks you still actually go to bed every night?"

Cat scowled as she stretched, "Frankly Tori, I do not care what my mother thinks. But to keep the peace we should probably go and change."

Tori followed Cat as she rushed up the staircase of Blackwater and back into the bedroom where the two Shapiro's used to sleep in. Stripping Cat of her old dress, she sighed heavily as she forced herself to get under the covers of the bed. Tori handed the tray and she half-heartedly began to eat her breakfast feast. As if on cue Lady Rebecca burst into the room, as usual she was optimistic and bombastic in her demeanour as she kissed her daughters cheek.

"Happy birthday my darling!" she gushed as she perched on the edge of the bed, "You are finally twenty, this will be such an exciting year for you!"

Caterina rolled her eyes at her mother's unawareness, "There is a war on mother." She reminded her, "Although it may not seem like it here. We sit up in this mansion, not helping at all, while men die for us. So I imagine that this will not be an exciting year for us."

"Caterina we do help." Her ladyship attempted to argue, "We keep the town's spirit up by showing them that nothing has changed. A sense of normality is the best medicine that they can receive. Now what are your plans for the day?"

Forcing herself not to slap her mother she smiled, "Lady Jadelyn is arriving at noon, so we are going to go riding then we will have dinner for my birthday."

Her mother beamed, "Splendid! I will ask Mrs. Grey to make your favourite meal in honour of this special day."

"Tori will you take my tray back downstairs."

Tori exited the room swiftly with a curt, "Yes mi'lady."

Caterina yawned dramatically and buried her head in the pillow, "Mother I am still dreadfully tired, I am going to try to sleep more."

Lady Rebecca nodded, "Of course my dear. We will speak later." She promised as she too, exited the room.

As soon as the door closed Caterina pushed the covers from her and scrambled to get out of the bed, she hated being in this bed without him, it felt wrong on so many levels. Pacing the room she waited, like she did every morning for the small ringing of the postman's bike. Biting her nails, she stood by the window as the small figure became more vivid, the small man riding the bike.

She rushed to the door, swinging the door open, she rushed passed Tori on the staircase as she headed for the front door. It was most unorthodox to go outside in your nightgown to greet anyone, but today was important she couldn't wait, she needed to know.

The postman had accidentally dropped his bike when he saw Lady Caterina bolting towards him in only a light nightgown. His palms became clammy, he did not want to be the one to tell her the news.

"Anything?" she demanded breathlessly as she caught up to him.

He shook his head sadly as he handed her the other letters, "I am so sorry Madam."

Caterina's breath caught in her throat making her voice rattle slightly, hiding her disappointment she smiled at the man, "Well thank you for this."

Walking back to the manor, tears rolled down her cheeks and she violently slapped her them away, "Happy birthday to me." she said bitterly.

"""""""""""""""

Lady Jadelyn felt conflicted, she hated being away from London for long periods of time and this war was just ruining all of her fun. For one thing it was taking away all the desirable men in the country! Everyday another man or one of her servants was called off to the awful war, she had heard about the sudden death of many of the men she had known from home, they were all good men. None of them had deserved the cruel hand the Lord had dealt them.

Another aspect that he hated about the war was the suffocating nature of her parents, her mother and father had both insisted that they escorted Jadelyn to Yorkshire. Her father had not asked back to fight in this war, much to his disappointment. So he insisted on constantly wearing a uniform about the house to honour the men abroad.

Leaving Emerson Estate, the pebbles cracked under her feet as she made her way over to the garage to find her new chauffeur, a Mr. Flynn. Charleston had been called to the front so they had to search for another and this quirky Irishman seemed to fit the bill. Lurking by the garage door she lifted the hem of her dress. Staring down at the legs that were sticking out from the beneath the car she loudly cleared her throat. He was singing loudly, some song about a man named, "Danny boy."

Rolling her eyes she stalked over to the car and crouched down, "Flynn!" she shouted.

There was a thump and the man cursed loudly, Jadelyn smiled gleefully at his pain. She had put up with him for three months, he was unlike the other staff, instead of just driving her wherever she desired he insisted on asking her questions, it was vexing.

"Ah mi'lady!" he cried, as he shuffled out from under the car, his face covered with oil, "I did not hear you."

"Clearly." Jadelyn starkly replied as she rose back up, "I need you to take me to Lady Caterina's now."

Grabbing a cloth he began to rub his face clean, "I'll need a minute to clean up."

Lady Jadelyn sighed in annoyance, "Fine, but I am already running late."

Hanging around the garage she picked up a wrench and stared at it curiously, "What were you even doing?" she demanded.

He laughed as he removed his overalls to reveal the green chauffeur's uniform he was told to wear. "I was tightening the bolts under the car so the wheels will not fall off. You sort of need them, so you know, the car will move."

Jadelyn sneered at Flynn as she clenched the wrench tighter, one hit. That's all it would take and the annoying man would be history.

"I understand." She replied hotly, "I know the mechanism of a car."

He grinned cockily at her and he closed the bonnet, "I bet you couldn't make it move."

Slamming the wrench back down on the workbench she strode over to the door and hopped into the driver seat, "I imagine I could, easily."

She stared at the pedals; her hands traced the wheel lightly. Pushing her foot down on one of the pedals she scowled when nothing happened, her anger growing as the chauffeur snorted at her.

"You need to press the ignition milady." He informed her as he jumped into the passenger seat.

"Oh be quiet" she ordered as she turned the key, "Now what do I do?"

He smiled at her as he pointed towards the nearest pedal to him, "Press down on that lightly and the car will begin to hum, then move the stick and drive."

Jadelyn complied and the car chugged forward, she smiled gleefully as she narrowly avoided one of the trees by the path, "I knew how to do this." She told him, "I was just making sure."

Flynn gripped the side of the car, his brilliant plan now seeming idiotic. He had giving a wild woman power to a machine, "I knew that milady." He said as she flew through the gates of Emerson, hurtling towards Lady Caterina's manor.

""""""""""""""

"I just feel so utterly useless!" Caterina complained to Jadelyn as they rode through the town.

It had been a horrible birthday for the small girl, the only thing that had cheered her up slightly was Lady Jadelyn's terrible driving, coming up to Blackwater she had started and stopped so many times that it took a nearly ten minutes until she reached the top. Yet she had still triumphantly emerged from the car that her cousin had given her, with a slightly green-faced chauffeur.

Lady Jadelyn trotted alongside Caterina, "Well then do something to change it." She replied as if it was the simplest explanation in the world.

"Like what?" she demanded, "What can I do that would be any help. I have no skills Jade, I am just a foolish high-class girl and I still feel like a child despite my age."

Jadelyn frowned at her friend, "Now you know that is not true, you are an amazing painter, you have a good enough voice and you are determined. You just need to heighten the skills that you already have."

Caterina didn't reply to Jadelyn, instead she surged Peppermint on through the town of Yorkshire, passing one of the many walls that were plastered with signs, bulletins and papers. Caterina spotted one she had not noticed before, there was a woman in the picture, she was helping a battered solider. But she seemed pleased to do it, she had a purpose.

That's what Caterina needed; purpose.

Jadelyn spotted her staring at the sign and smiled, "That could work."

"Come on." Caterina ordered Jadelyn, "I want to go see Dr. Carter."

"Alright Nurse Shapiro, let's get going."

* * *

**Hey guys! I am back after my break :D**

**Was going to update yesterday but I just couldn't find the energy! **

**But there we go anyway a new chapter.**

**I had to do a bit of research on this and to answer some queries you may have thought of. Not all of the men went to war, some tried to enlist but because of medical conditions could not, some where too afraid. So to an extent england didn't lose its entire male population. **

**Secondly I did do some research on letters and found that the men were allowed to write them but they had to basically lie in them, so they wouldn't worry anyone at home. Anyone who couldn't write was given boxes to tick.**

**I think its all pretty interesting :P Which is surprising because I wasnt the biggest fan of history in school!**

**Anyway leave a wee review of what you think will happen and we will see if you are correct! :P**

**Next chapter will probably be have Robbie actually in it.. so yeah :D**

**xoxoxo **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Sir Robert stared at his arm, at the crusted slice that ran from his wrist to elbow. A close call, he had lost a lot of blood that day, a vital vein had been punctured. If he hadn't been near the medical tent… well the outcome would have been bleak. It had healed over now, but the scar would remain with him always. He imagined explaining this to Cat, how distressed she would feel that a German had been so close to Robbie that he had sliced him. But at least he was still alive; the same could not be said for the man who did this to him.

It was his first kill; they say you will always remember your first. That was something he could believe easily. This was not like other kills he may have caused; he wasn't shooting randomly, or throwing a grenade in the hope that it would target someone. This had been intimate; they tackled each other to the ground, each struggling to unhinge the small dagger that was strapped to their arms. Robbie had only unsheathed his when he felt the excruciating pain of the slice. He remembered crying out in pain, his eyes water from the blood that was gushing from his left arm. He knew he had to overpower this man or else he would die and that was not an option. He had made a promise to Cat. Taking his knife he stabbed him directly in the throat, gasping in horror as blood spurted everywhere, splattering his face, some landing in his open mouth. He heaved as he tasted metal, the blood that wasn't his.

The man slumped on top of him, rigid and unmoving. The only thing Robbie could feel was the hammering of his heart, wasting no time he pushed the man off him and retreated to the bunkers, he had to make it to the tent. Gritting his teeth he rushed towards the bunkers, trying to make himself as small as possible. As he passed a fallen body he grabbed his riffle, just incase he may need to use it. A shell had landed near him as he reached the bunker and he was airborn, clenching his eyes closed he waited for the crushing impact that would certainly break his bones.

The next thing he remembered was waking up in this hospital bed, with a splitting headache and stiches in his arm and his arm in a sling. He could not believe his luck, he should be dead. Why was he not dead, how had he escaped with only a broken bone and scratches?

Bones can heal, scratches too but that scar would remain forever, a constant reminder of the man he had killed. He did not even know his name, was he twenty or forty it was difficult to tell. He felt his throat tightened, aching as if someone had shoved a red hot dagger down it. That man had a life outside this war, maybe he had a wife. Some who loved him unconditionally or worse was he a father? In an instant Robert had taken that away from him.

He thought of what the men used to joke about before they left training, the first kill was like losing your virginity all over again. Robert never really understood what they had meant by it and as much as he did not enjoy being ignorant he also was not sure he wanted to know the feeling of a first kill.

Sadly, he was no longer ignorant. He was stripped of his innocence, something that had kept him grounded all of these months, that was gone. He could never get it back. Would Caterina think him a monster now, he had after all taken a human life, it would repulse her. It made him feel sick to the core.

"Major Shapiro?"

He glanced at the man who stood before him, one of the soldiers who had signed up as a medic. He was a slip of a thing, very young, with rosy cheeks and soft blond hair. But you could not remain young in a war, his eyes where sunken, once green they were now dark and cold. They had seen too much.

"You are being sent on leave immediately, until your arm is healed."

He could only stare at the boy, bewildered, "You mean?"

The boy smiled, "Yes, you are being sent home."

""""""""""""""""""""

The first night on the job, Caterina had vomited; it would be safe to say it was not her proudest moment. Two months ago she had went to York to train to become a nurse. After spotting the poster on her birthday she knew that she needed to help, she had rushed straight over to Dr. Carter to ask him how she would enlist. He had been hesitant at first, warning her that the gruesome sights may be too much for frail heart. But she was determined, she had begged, lamented that she had to be distracted, she could not stand waiting around anymore. Finally he had told her about the programme in York that trained young women the basics. But being a Lady, Caterina lacked the basic knowledge of housework.

Her mother had been beside the idea at first but Caterina had managed to persuade her, she made her mother see that while she was away training, the house would once again be hers to run the way that she pleased. Lady Rebecca noticed something in her daughter when she raved about becoming a nurse, the fire in her eyes was their once more. The passion that had dwindled when she lost her husband to the war, maybe it would be for the best if her daughter had a distraction. Also, she could not deny that being master of the house once more was appealing.

From that moment on Lady Caterina spent her time in the kitchen with Mrs. Grey and the scullery maid, Lucy. She learnt the basics from them; how to boil a kettle and make tea and how to make small meals. Caterina had never felt better when she pulled out her first ever boil cake, the staff had all clapped for her as she presented it to them as a gift. After that she was whisked away to York, much to Jadelyn's annoyance.

Jadelyn had been forced to take cover in the countryside; she could find solace in the fact that at least she had a friend to see every day. But now Caterina had left her for the time being and while she was happy for her friend, she felt bitter. She was bored, life lacked excitement. Her mother and father had rebuked her for thinking this, it was utterly selfish. She knew they were right but she would never admit it.

She had to injure to months of boredom, spending most of her days walking around Yorkshire, refusing to take the car because it meant talking to Flynn. Who had recently become more of a pain, but more often than not, her parents insisted that she use the car, so she was forced to be in his company. He was not afraid of her like so many others, and it annoyed her more than anything. It confused her, she was not supposed to be engaging in a close relationship with a chauffeur and he knew that.

Today Jadelyn found herself walking towards the garage, unable to stop her feet from moving, unsure of why she taking herself here. Before she could tell her feet to stop she had barrelled in to the garage, surprising Flynn who was lounging on the hood of the car and smoking. The room smelled strongly of oil and tobacco, Jadelyn should have been repulsed by it but she found it strangely tantalizing.

Noticing Jadelyn standing by the door, he grinned lazily not bothering to stand up and fix himself, "Going into town?" he asked her.

Jadelyn shook her head, taking a tentative step toward him, "No. I am not sure why I am here." She admitted.

"I can answer that." He replied as he slid off the car, landing softly on the gravel, "You're bored."

Jadelyn took the pack of cigarettes from the counter and pinched one, "It would seem you are the only company that I have at the moment."

Walking over to Lady Jadelyn he handed her the lighter, their fingertips grazing slightly. Lady Jadelyn jumped back at the sudden contact, not enjoying the strange feeling it gave her. A strange tingling sensation in her hands, lighting the cigarette she took a long drag as she studied him. He was a good height, possibly hitting six foot. He had a large torso and strong arms from hard labour, with dark brown hair and green eyes he was attractive, she could not deny it.

"Want to do something then?" he asked.

Jadelyn smiled, "It's highly inappropriate."

"Come on. I'll let you drive." He teased, "You know you want to have some fun."

Lady Jadelyn smiled, how could she refuse such an offer.

"Fine. But we have to go somewhere secluded."

"""""""""""""""""

Currently Caterina was back at the Valentine hospital in her hometown. After the training she decided that she wanted to be closer to home, she wanted to be here for when Robbie returned on leave. She was washing one of the soldiers, a horribly messy job, after just a handful of wipes she had to change the water; it was already thick with dirt and blood. Returning to the solider he hissed when she swiped over the open wound on his shoulder.

"Sorry." She murmured, as she lightly dabbed at the wound, biting her lip to stop herself from wincing at the sight, it was infected, badly. Yellow pus oozing out of it as she pressed down on it, "It has to be done, it is the only way that it may heal."

"I understand." He yelped as she placed the tonic on his shoulder, "Distract me, please. Tell me your name."

"Caterina" she replied, "You may call me Cat."

He smiled slightly before wincing again, "Pretty name. I'm Sam."

Taking the cloth she wringed it out, watching as the dripped black, "You are lucky," she told him, "I have seen worse."

He scoffed slightly, "Lucky is not the word I would use. I am missing half of my leg." He replied bitterly, "Wheelchair bound forever."

Caterina sighed softly as she sat on the small stool beside him and gently placed her hand on his tough scarred one. The other nurses envied Lady Caterina, while she may not have been the best nurse when it came to the more severe injuries, she had such a kind heart that it exuded around the ward, lightening the hearts of all of the men. You were lucky if she was your nurse, she would spend hours, sitting with them if she could. She loved hearing about their lives and ambitions.

"You can still live" she placated, "I will not let you give up on yourself."

"How can I face my family?" He asked her, "I lived on a farm you see. I will not be able to work, what use am I now?"

"Do you have a wife?" Cat asked, trying to find something to make him smile.

"Yes, we've only been together a month before the war broke out." He said, his eyes glistening, "How can she love this?"

Her grip tightened on his hand, "You are alive and that is what matters. She will not care, I know I wouldn't if my husband looked as well as you do." She soothed.

"Who is your husband?" he asked, as he attempted to prop himself up in the bed.

Cat surged forward to assist him, "Major Shapiro, Robbie. Do you know him?"

"No I am sorry." He responded, "Although it is hard to keep up with the amount of men at the front, they are so many of them. But I am sure he is alive, he would not leave someone as kind as you."

Caterina's lip wobbled, "Get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow."

Leaving his bedside she assisted the some of the other men, she rubbed her eyes as she attended to a burn victim. She was exhausted, the night shift was long but it was worth it. She was finally making a difference, which was what she had always wanted. But she still felt empty; she imagined she would feel this way until he was home.

Dawn broke as she trudged up the path towards Blackwater, her coat covering her blood stained nurse's uniformed. She desired a bath, a long soak to calm her tired bones. Rain was softly falling as she finally reached the door of her house. Knocking on it, she waited for one of the servants to answer the door. When there was no reply she banged louder on it.

"Hello!" she screamed, "Someone let me in."

The door finally swung open and she stepped inside, removing her coat she shook it as she complained to the servant, "How many times do I have to bang on the door until someone will answer?! I mean who—"

She stopped speaking immediately, her angry dissolving instantly. Standing before her laughing slightly at her angry nature was Robbie.

"Hi." He replied simply, "I'm home."

* * *

**:D Hey guys!**

**First of all I would like to Thank Flamekat for the constant help with this time period! Your little snippets have helped me shape this story so far into something kind of believable! :D**

**Anyhoo what did you all think?**

**I am enjoying writing this and i am not sure how many chapters it would be, it could be 10.. or 40.. who knows ;)**

**AND YAY everyone is still alive!**

**BTW Robbie will have to return to army! but for the time being his is back in Yorkshire (yay)**

**Love you all **

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Caterina found it difficult to form a sentence, the sight of her husband seemed to turn her into mush. She had imagined their first encounter since his leave many times, how he would send her a letter and she would put on her prettiest dress before rushing down to the station. Then he would stepped out of the first class cart, looking handsome in a clean uniform, as perfect as he was annoying. Then she would rush forward and have one of those romantic reunion kisses that she had become so accustomed to (she had read many of those types of books in his absence). Instead she was covered in dirt and blood, her hair was matted to her face and she could guess that she resembled a corpse, but he was also far from perfect. Somehow she thought that he would be immune to the shots and the attacks, but from the looks of his arm she knew enough from her training to know what that meant, he had almost died.

Robbie stared back at his wife, not at all surprised to see that she was wearing a nurse's uniform; she would make the perfect nurse, so caring and willing to work for something she believed in.

"You know I've always loved women in uniform." He said playfully as his eyes trailed up and down her small stature.

Caterina knew what he was doing, he was trying to appeal to her quick temper so it would be like nothing has changed. Going to slap his good arm he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to him, bringing his lips down to hers. That one action brought Cat home, suddenly she felt her world once again flooded with colour, she felt rejuvenated. His tongue traced the outline of her lips, begging for entrance that Caterina was not ready to give; she was a tease by nature.

Pulling away from him she sighed, "Thank god you are okay."

Robbie smiled as he caressed her cheek, "I promised you I would make it back to you."

Cat's eyes flicked to the sling that held his arm, "When was this last changed? Dirty covers can lead to infection you know. Come with me, I want to clean this."

Robbie tried to protest but he knew it was futile trying to argue with Cat, she would always win. He winced when she placed the tonic on his large wound, her eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as she wound the cotton wrapped around it.

"It was not that bad." He said nonchalantly, "A mere scrape."

Caterina cocked an eyebrow as she tied the gauze in a secure knot, "There is no point in lying to me Robbie, this could have easily killed you."

"But it didn't." He reminded her, "I am still very much alive."

As Caterina cleaned the scratches on his face, he took this moment to actually study his wife, she was different, her eyes were sunken in with large shadows underneath them, it made her look gaunt and sickly. But her demeanor had changed also; she seemed older, more confident. Not at all the innocent girl that she used to be, you did not need to be overseas fighting in war it would seem. It was a virus that affected the whole nation. Just looking at Cat told him that.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked her, his voice laced with concern.

Smiling slightly she counter attacked with, "When was the last time you slept properly?"

Robbie lips curled into an endearing smile as he held out his hand, "Maybe we could solve this problem together."

Caterina grinned as Robbie pulled her to her feet and rushed her up to their bedroom. For the first time in months she willingly walked into the bedroom, somehow the room did not seem so daunting anymore, with Robbie by her side the bed was no longer a torture chamber, no monsters lurked beneath waiting to swallow her whole. Kicking off her shoes, she removed the pins from her hair, letting it cascade down her back, the loose waves framing her face nicely. Peeling her grimy uniform from her skin, she let it fall to the ground, leaving her only in a small petticoat. She smiled at Robbie, a blush creeping onto her cheek as he stared at her hungrily.

"I forgot just how mesmerizing you are." he murmured, his eyes following her as she sat on her knees on the bed.

Crawling over to him she began to unbutton his uniform. She spluttered with laughter as together they began to difficultly remove the shirt, by the end of it he felt like a piece a string that Cat had twisted and turned around her finger. Finally when the shirt was removed Cat bit her lip when she stared at his stomach, hidden scars finally showing themselves. Her fingers followed the white marks and she felt him shiver at the contact.

"You are so lucky." she murmured, and she leaned down to lightly kiss each scar before leaving a trail of kisses from the nape of his neck to his jaw, stopping just before she reached his mouth, "I love you."

Pressing his lips to her quickly, he mumbled, "I know, I love you too."

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Lady Caterina felt groggy when she woke up the next morning, her legs ached from inactivity and her head was pounding from over sleeping... and she couldn't of cared less, because she could feel his steady breathing on her exposed back, it made the hair rise on her arms, sending little waves of pleasure around her body. Shifting in the bed she turned to face him, she still could not wrap her head around it. He was here, in the flesh. It was not something she had just imagined, which she had considered before she fell asleep last night, it all seemed to brilliant to be true. Reaching out she gently wound her fingers into his hair, gently massaging his head as if he was a small animal. She continued it for several minutes, completely entranced with watching him sleep.

Before her eyes could even flutter shut, Robbie's hand flew forward, grabbed her and pinned her down on the mattress, "I see my looks have not faded in any way, you cannot seem to keep your eyes off of me."

Cat laughed was breathy as she tried to push him off, "Okay very funny. Now move I have to get up, I have a shift at the hospital."

Wriggling from his grasp, she hopped out of the bed to grab her gown. Wrapping it securely around her small frame she pulled the cord that would alert the staff downstairs that they were awake, "Do you want your breakfast brought up on a tray?" she asked as she glanced at his arm, "Can you still feed yourself?"

Frowning at his wife he replied, "It's my left arm Cat. I am not a baby, I can feed myself."

She smiled as hopped back on to the bed and planted a kiss on his cheek, "No need to be so testy Robert. Just because you did not get what you wanted."

She couldn't help but laugh when he slumped back in the bed, his bottom lip dropping like a small child's might when they were being chastised by an elder.

"I am not testy." he muttered.

Just then there was a small knock on the door and Tori clumsily bounded into the room, "Cat what are you-" her eyes widened, her cheeks flooded bright red with embarrassment when she spotted the couple on the bed together, Sir. Robert's chest was exposed.

One rule of being a servant, never walk in on a couple in bed.

"I am so sorry!" Tori rambled, she was begging her feet to move but she could not seemed to get them to work, "I did not realise you were home Sir or I would not have barged in!"

Robbie placed his hand up to silence the maid, "Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Could you ask them to bring me up a tray please?"

Tori nodded slightly as Cat ushered her out of the room, "Don't be so frazzled." she giggled slightly, "It's not like you witnessed anything bad."

Tori didn't reply because she had seen something bad, it just would not seem that way to Cat. She could not believe that he was home. Glancing up at Cat she felt as if someone had punched her in the throat, she could barely breath. She looked so angelic, she was glowing, she walked with confidence once more and Tori could not have been more envious. Every smile the friend shot her was like she was stabbing her in the eye with a needle, every time the pain intensified. It was a great unfairness that for the time being Cat could be happy once again, knowing that her husband was safe when Tori knew next to nothing about her own. As soon as she placed the final pin in Cat's hair, she made her excuses and rushed out of the room. She could not bare to be in the same place as her at the moment.

Rushing down to the servant's quarter she sought refuge in the cold room where they stored all of the game. The sight of the dead birds and rabbits made Tori's stomach heave but she managed to swallow back the bile. Crumbling to the ground she placed her head in her hands and let the tears fall. She tried to remember easier times, better times. She recalled the first time she had ever met him, how she thought he was gross, but she was ten at the time so that was perfectly normal thinking. Then when she turned sixteen she had realized that she had feelings for him, then she just had to get him to notice her. God, she had gotten into so many scrapes with women over him, everyone wanted to the better half of Beck Oliver. Then finally after two years of trying she finally got him to kiss her. That was the best moment of her life, she was not going to say that up until that point her life was easy, in fact it was anything but. He was the first person to ever make her feel like she was worth more, that someone could love her in return.

Drying her eyes with the back of her hand, she rose and stalked out of the cold room, down the path towards the cottage. Taking the shortcut through the woods she arrived at her house. Before she even stepped in to her home she could hear the delighted gurgles of her child. Smiling at Jane, the girl she paid to watch her daughter, she picked up her daughter who was squealing for her attention, and kissed her cheek.

"You have gotten heavy." She mumbled as she sat her down on the sofa.

She watched as her baby zoomed through the legs of the table, crawling around the room she laughed at she played with her only toy, a small white rabbit. She never strayed from her mother's sight. Tori eyes began to water again as she thought of Beck overseas, he was missing out on the most precious moments of their child's life. Soon Natalie would be walking and that would be followed by speaking. She was growing at such a rapid speed, if you blinked you missed something.

"Where there any letters Jane?" Tori asked, already knowing the answer she was going to recieve.

"No, sorry Tori." Jane replied as she began to mash some carrots up for Natalie, "If it helps my dad has not contacted us in ages, maybe they are just delayed."

Tori smiled weakly, "Maybe you are right Jane."

But she still couldn't get rid of that feeling of unease, that something was coming. Something she would not be able to control and it frightened her more than anything.

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Caterina could not remember a time when she had felt so grand, the sun was burning in the sky about without a storm cloud in sight to cover it's warming rays. She had actually had a good nights sleep for the first time in 8 months and she was actually holding hands with her husband as he walked her down to the hospital. They were spotted several times on there way to the Valentine Hospital, many of the locals had stopped to shake hands with Robbie, as a token of their gratitude for his efforts in the war. They were so glad to see the young couple together again, even if it was only for a short period, Lady Caterina finally had a reason to smile again.

"This is so strange." Robbie muttered as the latest herd from the welcome wagon disappeared, "No one has ever thanked me for anything."

"Nothing?" Caterina said, "That cannot be true."

"No, never. Other men certainly did not thank me for anything, mostly they would hit me or swear at me for stealing all of the women." he murmured, grinning as Caterina scowled.

He couldn't help annoying her, it brought him back to the first time he danced with her at her "engagement" ball, how much she had hated him... it reminded him of how much he had loved her for it.

"Enough sharing." she muttered as they reached the Hospital, "What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

He shrugged, "I'll probably head up to Emerson, check on the witch who resides there."

Standing on the tips of her toes, she kissed him lightly on the lips, "Play nice with Jade." she warned, "She has been cooped up in the countryside too long. It is making her go a bit... well, crazy."

Sir. Robert grinned, "Well this could be fun."

Kissing her on the forehead, he gave her a fleeting wave before starting up the path towards Emerson. He had to admit that he did not want to be alone, there was something strange about freedom. For months he had been used to confined spaces, sleeping rigidly with your hands wrapped around a riffle. The fact that he was not carrying one was making him uneasy, which he knew sounded insane. What use would a gun be in the middle of Yorkshire? But he just could not abandon his feeling of dread, that at any minute someone would jump out and attack him.

He reached Emerson estate ten minutes later and it had been a terrifying time to say the least, some gentlemen had decided that today was the perfect day to go pheasant hunting. The gun firing had rung in his ears, echoing, the sound amplifying. Robbie had fallen to the ground in search of shelter, he would not move until the coast was clear. All of his survival training had kicked in action and it was not until he saw some women calmly walking past him did he realize what he was actually doing. He felt completely idiotic as he emerged from the shrub and the sound of the women cackling only made the matter worse.

As he walked towards the garage he heard something that made him stop, a giggle. That sound was even more petrifying than the gunshot as far as he was concerned. Jadelyn West did not giggle, so why did the girl who was standing outside the garage look so much like her? Robbie watched as the man she was talking to, pointed in his direction, which caused Jadelyn to spin around, her eyes popping with shock when she spotted her cousin. Gathering speed, Robbie watched in horror as she raced towards him and gave him a hug.

"You lucky bastard!" she exclaimed as she held him close.

Robbie cried out in pain, "Jade, my arm!" he complained and she immediately let go, "What has gotten into you? That is such fowl language for a Lady like yourself to use."

She scowled, the warmth she felt towards her cousin was dwindling quickly, "I was just glad to see that you aren't dead. What happened to your arm?"

Robbie stared at the scar, "Actually that's what I want to talk to you about, can we go inside?"

Jadelyn, sensing his apprehension nodded, "Of course."

The walk up to the estate had been a quiet one, Jadelyn's eyes flicked curiously back to Sir. Shapiro every so often. She had never him this, quiet. It spooked her, he always had something to say, someone to make fun of or a conquest to boast about. Bringing him straight into the parlour, she poured him a drink and handed it to him.

"Okay what did you have to say?" she asked as she sat opposite him on the small sofa, "Lay it on me, I can handle it."

After he had recounted his story of how he had injured his arm to Jadelyn. She had slapped him, hard. He was pretty sure that would leave a bright red hand mark on his face.

"Okay, that was sore." he exclaimed as he brought his good hand up to his face, "Want to get me some cold meat or something for this?"

Rolling her eyes at her cousin, she raised her hand, "I will slap you again if you are not careful."

"Care to explain why you hit me?" he asked as he dampened his handkerchief in his gin and placed it on his face, sighing in relief as the cold drink soothed the redness.

"You need some sense knocked in to you." she replied, "Rob, there is a war on, you can not feel remorse for killing a man who would not think twice about killing you. If you hesitate like that again, you might die."

"So you do not see me any differently to the way you used too?" he asked, his voice heavy with remorse.

Jade snorted,"Of course I do, ever since you married Cat you've turned into a sap."

He arched an eyebrow, "You know what I mean."

"No Robbie." she said, her voice surprisingly comforting, "This does not change who you are. It does not make you monster."

And for once, he actually believed her.

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He sat there shaking with fear, his hand fumbling as he placed more bullets into his riffle. He could barely make out any shapes, the landscape was thick with dark clouds of soot and dust. André Harris using his teeth, unclipped one of his grenades and threw it in the direction of the enemy. Sheilding his ears, he heard the deafening blow and prayed that it had at least injured someone. He just wanted this nightmare to end.

"Watch out!" Screamed a voice.

He rolled, narrowly missing a shot that would have definitely killed him, looking up he saw the familiar face of Beck Oliver, someone he had grown close to in the trenches.

"Thanks!" he screamed as he grabbed his riffle again, "There is too many of them."

"Don't talk like that!" Beck screeched back, "We can win this."

André had always admired Beck's optimism, it made him so wholesome. He had picked him out of the crowd of men instantly as one of the nicest, he was caring, compassionate and he never spoke a bad word about anyone. Just last night they were reminiscing about all of the strange experiences they had together up in Blackwater. Beck spoke so warmly of his home, of his wife and friends and it almost broke André's heart when he heard about his daughter. He could only imagine the pain of leaving a child behind.

"Grenade!" A boy behind them screamed as it landed at his feet.

Beck felt his stomach drop, ten seconds. This regiment only had ten more seconds of life. Staring around at all of the petrified faces of the boys his heart pounded with fear. Some where so young, they had their whole lives to look forward too. They could settle down after the war. Have a nice life and a family. Grasping André's shoulder he shot him a meaningful look before removing his helmet.

"It has been a pleasure serving with you."

Then he placed his helmet over the grenade and lay on top of it, ignoring the protest from André.

"Just get as far away as possible!" he demanded.

They say that moments before death your whole life flashes before your life. Well that was not true for Beck Oliver, for him he only saw the best moments of his life. He was ten when he went to Blackwater, when he met Caterina and Tori, his first friends. Then he was eighteen, he had kissed Tori for the first time. Suddenly he was 19, he was married, he had a child. Then he was at this moment, only he wasn't sacrificing his life to save these men. He was back at his cottage, Tori had opened the door, little Natalie was in her grasp, her little arms outstretching to him, wanting nothing more than her father's touch. He was home and for a moment everything was perfect. Beck Oliver smiled, feeling suddenly calm, the thought of his wife and daughter had given him the courage he needed. He kept smiling.

Until he felt nothing at all.

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**:'( So much happened here so if you don't review I will be most displeased! :L**

**Each character got a mention! Come on that is good stuff!**

**Anyone shed a tear? Close to tears?**

**I heard a story similar to Beck's death when I was about 12 and it really stuck with me, that is serious courage right there.**

**I am conflicted, I don't know what to do with Jade, I have been hinting at it but I am not certain that I want to go through with it, i.e Flynn the chauffeur :L**

**Problems! **

**Anyway love you all!**

**until next time**

**xoxoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Lady Rebecca would never claim that she was overly fond of her daughter's best friend, Victoria Oliver. In her opinion that girl had many qualities that made her irritating. She was a pain in her side from the moment she met her. It never occurred to Lady Rebecca that she would find herself in a situation where she could empathise with the maid. But fate had other plans for the meek maid, it seemed that were destined to have something in common, they were both widowers.

Unfortunately for the elder Valentine she was the only one in Blackwater when the letter had arrived on the doorstep, the letter that would finally break the wife of Beck Oliver. It had started off a normal day for Lady Rebecca, she was currently on stage four of the daily routine; meaning she was lounging on one of the many sofas in the main hall, sipping on a glass of sherry while she wallowed in her own self-pity. When she was complaining out loud about the disastrous manner in which Caterina chooses to run a private house, there was an urgent rap on the door, causing her to scowl in annoyance. With the sudden loss of most of her male staff, was she to answer the door?

"Absolutely absurd." She mumbled to herself as she waddled over to the front door.

It was then she received the letter from the war office that was addressed to a Mrs. Oliver. Carefully she took the crisp letter from the young boy's hand, curtly thanking him as she slammed the door in his face. Grumbling the whole way to the terrace, she searched for the young maid, ready to condemn her for allow her personal letters to be received by a Lady. That girl would never learn that Lady Valentine was not someone to be messed with, especially since she had been kind enough to let her stay, even after the amount of incidents she got herself wrapped up in with Caterina when she was younger.

Eventually she found the young maid outside, angrily beating one of the mats from the parlour, expelling the dust that had been caught in its fibre for years. Lady Rebecca hated the outdoors, just stepping out of the shadow into the sun made her made her hiss like an alley cat who was scuffling with a rival. Hastily she marched over to maid, coughing slightly as she neared the cloud of dust. Sewing her fingers together, she used it to swat the floating cinders away from her face.

"Tori." She ordered, "This came for you at the front door."

Immediately the young girl snatched the letter from her old mistress, her eyes shining with hopeful anticipation as she tore into the letter.

"I must have another word with Caterina about the staff situation." Lady Rebecca added snidely, "This whole letter business is just one facto—"

The heart-wrenching screech from the girl beside her made her stop mid-sentence, the sight of the girl made her hand fly to her mouth. Lady Rebecca realized the horror of the situation, she had experienced just a year ago, at this moment Tori resembled herself, when her husband had fallen to the ground. The girl was shaking so much that a gentle breeze could have sent her crashing onto the grass, streams of tears where rushing down her face at a blinding speed as she stared at the letter. Her legs seemed to bend in, like a ruler under too much stress, the force intensifying until eventually it snapped. Then her legs caved in and she fell, straight into her Ladyship's arms.

Lady Rebecca let out a sort of strangled cry as she held the maid in her arms, patting her cheek slightly she saw that the girl was responding, her eyes were hazy, far away from the manor. Willing her to walk back to the terrace, Lady Rebecca sat her on one of the metal seats before screeching for someone to bring her a cold drink. Suddenly all of these maternal instincts that she had tried to repress for so many years came flooding back like a tsunami wave. She found herself actually _caring_ for the girl who had gone a horrible grey colour; who stared at the letter, unable to keep her eyes from it.

"Tori, what has happened." She ordered as she grabbed her shoulders, "Tell me. Do you want me to call for Caterina? Do you want to see your daughter?"

Tori's head jerked slightly, indicating that she did not want to see anyone. She began to mumbled incoherently and it took her a moment to figure what she was saying. Finally after some time she muttered one word that she understood. That one word that shattered the earth.

"Dead."

That single word held so much power, once it had actually escaped her lips there was a cruel sense of finality that washed over her. She had lost him. For months she had kept herself going with the thought of him returning to her, she would run to greet him as he would open his arms to envelope her in a tight embrace, then her ear would naturally rest against his chest and she would hear the consistent beating of his heart.

She could not hear what Lady Valentine was saying, everything had become foggy to her, the only thing that she could see clearly was the letter and the lines:

_It is with my sincerest that I regret to inform you that your husband Pte. B. Oliver, No. 68792 of this Regiment was killed in action on the night of the 21st instant. Death was instantaneous and without any suffering._

She felt horribly anesthetized, she imagined that someone could break every bone in her body and she would feel nothing. She could not even find solace in the fact that he had passed without any suffering; she did not have a body to bury, the letter had explained that it was impossible to retrieve his remains, his deathbed would forever be where he fell; a soldiers grave. Someone lifted her, taking her into his strong grip, he began to carry her off. She occasionally could hear him grunting in angst but she did not bother to look at who it was. He began to lead her down the path she knew all too well, the one that twisted and curved until it stopped at their cottage... No, now it was just her house. The screeching of her child brought her back, the wails becoming more extreme as they opened the door. Looking into the eyes of her daughter she felt breathless, she had nothing to show her, no photo of her husband that she could pass down to Natalie, she would never know her father.

Roughly she forced herself from the arms of her carrier, who she now recognised as Sir. Shapiro. She glared at him, her teeth clenched. Frankly he was the last person that she wanted to see. He was a painful reminder of what she could have had.

"Get out!" she roared at him as she forced him out the door.

Banging it shut, she placed her forehead on the uneven wood and began to wail, trying to match her daughter's screams.

"Shut up Natalie!" she bellowed at her daughter who was wriggling in her cradle, "Just—leave me be."

Collapsing on to the bed, Tori screwed her eyes shut and tried to remember what kept her tethered to the earth besides Beck. Her mind was so scrambled; she had to get out of this dark depression she was quickly sinking into, before it consumed her. But every time she tried to think positive, her sorrow twisted it like putty, completely changing its sentimentality into something sinister. She thought of her best friend Cat, but that led her to think about how her life was just better than hers, while she seemed to gain anything she wanted without any consequences, Tori lost it. She then thought of her daughter, how that was still a piece of Beck, his essence would live on in her. However that just made her think about continuing to raise a daughter alone and how she was just so tried. She was just so emotionally exhausted of pretending she was okay when she wasn't, raising her alone was too difficult. Tori was being sentenced to a life of solitude, she would be a widower until she was withered and white-haired. Only then would she be reunited him.

Pressing her head into the pillow, she screamed as loudly as she could. She could not stand it.

The end was too far away.

* * *

**Aren't you all lucky that I am on study leave! Look at all of these chapters you are receiving! ;D**

**I thought that Tori deserved a chapter all to herself so I could give you all an inclination for the darkness that is going to take over her character. I had an idea when I was writing this chapter but I am not sure if I want to go through with it.**

**But! Look how nice Lady Rebecca was being for once! Yay she is actually a human with feelings! :D**

**Hmm decisions, think it could work, it's just going to be very depressing.**

**Anyway leave me a wee review to let me know what you think! **

**Love xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight **

As soon as the door was bashed in his face, narrowly missing his nose, Sir. Shapiro rounded the path and bolted straight to the Valentine Hospital. As he rushed down the narrow lane he thought about the Victoria he had just witnessed. She was a hellcat; eyes narrowed, cheeks flushed and she seemed to growl as she bared her teeth at him. He still could not wrap his head around it, that her husband was truly gone. While he barely knew Beck, he had thought he was a good man, and no one deserved to die the way he did. That he knew.

Picking up speed her rushed through the small green in the centre of the village and pushed through the small gate. Cat was outside the hospital, assisting one of the patients around the small garden. As she had not noticed him yet, he took a moment to take in Cat, watching as she gripped the taller man tightly around the torso as he attempted to walk with only one leg and a crutch for support. He admired her smiled, the way she seemed to glow as she encouraged him to take another step, it was obvious to everyone that the little redhead loved her job, and the men loved her for doing it with the utmost care.

Finally she glanced over to him and beckoned him over with a slight swing on her hand. With a heavy heart Robbie walked over to his wife to greet the pair.

"Sam, this is my husband, Sir. Robert Shapiro." She explained as Robbie helped him take a seat on the small wooden bench. He smiled warmly at the solider, admiring his determination. Even a journey, one that small, was progress.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Robbie shook hands with the man who had a surprisingly tight grip, wincing slightly he added, "Could I borrow my wife for a moment?"

Without waiting for a response, Robbie clamped his hand down on Cat's arm and guided her to the shaded area of the garden. Caterina glanced nervously up at her husband's vacant expression. She hated when she could not read his face, it was normally so simple for her. But recently, since his return from the war front she found him that much difficult to decipher.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice had a definite edge of worry as she continued, "Was there a letter from the war office, are you being deployed again?"

"No, it's not that." He sighed theatrically as he avoided her gaze, instead his eye flicked to every soldier in the vicinity, thinking about how lucky they all were to still have breath in their lungs and blood trickling through their veins.

"Is it someone we know?" Caterina guessed as she brought her hand up to Robbie's cheek, willing him to look directly in her frightened brown eyes, "Robbie who died?"

"Beck." He finally admitted, "Beck was killed three days ago. I read the letter when I was carrying Tori back to her cottage; his death was instantaneous, it was an explosion."

Cat's hand immediately sought her mouth as she quelled the pathetic sob that was protruding in her throat. At once all of her memories of Beck came flying into her conscious as quick as the shell that had killed her old friend. She remember Beck as a ten-year old, how Cat had teased him so about being friends with two girls, how she had pretended to marry him at the bottom of the garden, when he had made her a Godmother... that man was now dead, all she had now was these memories of him.

"How is Tori?" Cat whispered, as she unconsciously knotted her fist into his shirt.

"Honestly, she is not that good at all. You would not believe it Cat, at first she was docile. Unmoving as if she was paralysed, It was so worrying that even Lady Rebecca was frantic. Eventually I decided to take her back to her cottage because she clearly would not be able to work. But as soon as she got her home... she just snapped. She lashed out at me before closing me out of the house. I heard her screaming at the poor child before I made it to the end of the path."

Caterina shook her in head in disbelief, "I cannot believe this, it is so unlike her. Maybe I can go and –"

She groaned as one of the other nurses came rushing towards her, "Cat we need you, one of your patients is having a fit. You know that you are the only one who can calm him down." She rambled as she bounced from one foot to the other, evidently anxious to return back to the ward.

Cat mumbled something; Robbie was certain it was a word that a Lady should not use, as she turned to dashed off. Shooting him a fleeting apologetic look, she called back, "I will visit her later. Just stay away from her Robbie, do not get involved further."

Dejectedly, he turned and made his way to the end of the path, now so uncertain of what he should do with his time. He was certain that Cat would have left with him to go and visit his oldest friend, and if he was honest with himself, was slightly annoyed that she seemed to care more for her patients than she did about her best friend's well-being. But she knew her the best, so he would not listen to the little voice in his head that was telling him to help the maid instantly. He would trust Cat's judgement and not try to visited her again.

Instead he started up the familiar path that lead up to Emerson, since he made his triumphant return four days previous, he had become somewhat closer with Jadelyn, it seemed he could know call her Jade and get away with it. Heading straight for the door he spotted a short, plump and rosy-faced man bobbed out of the door and head towards a carriage.

Holding up his hand he shouted, "Uncle!" at the top of his lungs.

The little man stopped and turned, his red face breaking out in a large grin as he spotted his nephew making his way up the drive.

My dear boy!" he cried out as he bounced over to him with glee, "How are you today?"

"I have been better." He replied solemnly, "Someone I know was recently was killed in action. A terrible loss, he had a wife and a newborn."

His uncle smacked his lips together before sighing, "That is just terrible. This just means that we should appreciate more the life that we have."

"I agree completely." Robbie said before he jerked a finger towards the house, "Is Jadelyn in?"

As soon as he uttered her name, Robbie regretted it. His uncle stiffened, which was strange for a man who was constantly shaking with excitement, as if he had drank too much caffeine. A dark shadow seemed crossed his face, immediately expelling the colour from his cheeks as his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"She told me she was with Lady Caterina." He said, "I should have known there was something going on with her. She has been acting different these past few weeks. Have you noticed a change Robert, you have seen her more than me these past few days."

Robbie awkwardly cleared his throat, "You know now that I think about it." He lied quickly, "Caterina did mention something about meeting Jadelyn today. I have taken so many bangs to the head these past few months I must have forgotten."

His auctioned regarded him, before shrugging ever so slightly, "I just do not know what to do with her." He replied exasperatingly, "Robert, if you find out anything you will tell me won't you?"

"I do not think it's anything to be worried about. But of course I will inform you if it's anything dangerous."

With that his Uncle slapped him cheerfully on the shoulder before hopping into his carriage, "See you later my boy!" he cheered through the window as the carriage swept down the lane.

He waved at his uncle until the carriage was out of sight, kicking the gravel in annoyance; he looked around Emerson, unsure of what to do now that his cousin was MIA. Starting to walk down the path again, he turned left hastily; this would get him home quicker and at this particular moment he wanted nothing more than a cigarette and a brandy. It was a shame really that Sir. Robert hadn't taken a moment to stop outside the garage, with the door that was slightly ajar, if the man had not been so wrapped up in his own problems, he may not have missed the drama that was about to unfold in Lady Jadelyn's life.

Lady Jadelyn was completely irate, she was so annoyed at the man standing before her... and she had absolutely no idea why. Today Flynn had vexed her beyond belief, she had come down to continue the secret driving lesson's he had promised her, when she had spotted him talking to one of the maids who was heading up to the house. Something bubbled inside Lady Jadelyn that she did not understand at all,which frightened her more than anything as she strode over to the couple. Towering over the petite girl, just one glare told the maid to run away quickly. Jadelyn West was not one to toy with.

Flynn had grinned lazily at his mistress; taking off his hat to greet her sarcastically he walked back into the garage and continued to polish the car.

"Funny we do not pay you to socialise with the help." she muttered as she closed over the large doors.

Flynn chuckled as he glanced sideways at Jadelyn, "But I am the help." he countered, "What's the big deal anyway."

The colour rose in her cheeks as she quickly snarled, "You are meant to be working!"

Flinging the polished covered oil over his shoulder he grinned cockily as he leaned against the car and folded his arms. Jadelyn eye's narrowed, not enjoying the look she was receiving from the male.

"What?" she barked.

"You're jealous."

Jade laughed and was instantly annoyed with the away it sounded; completely fake and unbelievably high, "As if, what do I have to be jealous about, I am far better than that maid in every single way."

Taking a small step towards her, his smile grew, "You like me the way you should like someone of your own class and that scares you more than anything."

"You are ridiculous as if I could ever like you. You are so—just" she let out a strangled cry as she grabbed the nearest thing to her and threw it in his direction. She gasped when the wrench hit his head and he crumpled to the ground, his forehead was beginning to swell at a fast rate.

"Oh my god." she flew to his side, shaking his shoulder she yelped, "Flynn, oh my god. I am so sorry, I didn't think it would actually hit you. Jesus, please don't be dead."

Groaning he sat up slightly, as Jadelyn tentatively touched the bruise on his forehead, "It's throbbing."

While Jadelyn was momentarily vulnerable, Flynn took this as his only chance to persuade her, to make her see what was staring at her right in the face. What these months of flirting was leading up too. Grabbing her hand, he leaned up and brought his lips to hers, locking them together in a passionate embrace.

""""""""""""""

Caterina sped out of the ward, night was creeping up on her quickly so she started to jog up to Tori's cottage. It began to lightly drizzle as she finally pushed the creaky gate that lead to the Oliver cottage. Already she could hear the soft wails of her godchild and she felt her stomach twist uncomfortably. The atmosphere that surrounded this cottage was overpowering, already Caterina felt so dismal and weak, suddenly everything seemed bleak. Tapping on the door, she waited respectfully until Tori swung the heavy door open.

The first thing that struck Cat was her appearance, Robbie was not exaggerating, she had never seen her like this before. Her hair was unkempt, it was sticking out at odd ends, as if she had raked her hands through it countless times. Her eyes were blackened around the rims, her eyelashes were matted together and the red veins that snaked around the white of her eyeball told her that she had been crying a great deal. Then there was her cheeks, dark burgundy lines ran down them, as if Tori had dragged her sharp nails down the in anguish. The clothes that she stood in where wrinkled and splattered with tears.

"What do you want?" she asked, there was a harshness to the voice that Caterina had never heard before, it was so raw that it made her nervous.

"I wanted to check on you." she answered as bravely as she could, suddenly she felt like a robin who was battling a hawk, she did not have a hope of winning, all she could do was avoid Tori's sharp talons at all costs.

"I heard about Beck. Tori, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am."

Taking a step forward to enter the house, she was shocked by the arm that soared up, blocking her path, "I do not want to see anyone. You are not coming in."

Stammering slightly Caterina staggered back, the rain growing heavier as it soaked through her thin uniform, "You forget yourself." she said, her voice rising slightly, "As your employer I order you to let me inside."

Tori laughed, it was almost maniacal, "Do not try and pull out the status card, because you are so much more mighty than me!" she sarcastically replied, "I do not want to see you, Lady Shapiro. Please leave me alone."

Cat tried to quell her anger, Tori was hurting, she had only just lost her husband. But that did not stop her words cutting her like a sharp blade, "I don't understand. Tori, I only want to help you. Please let me help you, you are clearly not thinking straight. I know what you-"

"Don't you dare say you know what I am going through." she cut in, her words were as sharp and as cold, as an icicle, "My husband is dead while yours carries me home like the martyr he is! Sir. Robert Shapiro who is always there to save the day! For months I listened while you ranted on about his safety and how you felt and all I wanted was for you to ask me how I felt, ask about Beck. So many times I wanted to tell you about how I was struggling and you just did not want to listen! But I suppose you do not have to worry about that anymore. I am not waiting for him to come home and I am severing all ties with you."

"That's not fair." Caterina's throat was now hoarse from holding back tears, "Tori you are my best friend you know that."

"Yes when it suits you." Tori scathing replied as she closed the door over more, blocking Caterina's view of Natalie who was in the corner of the room, wailing as she watched the two women fight, "Why did it take you so long to seek me out Cat? Too busy to worry about your _best friend_?"

"Stop it!" Caterina shrieked, she clenched her small fists together as she fought the urge to slap her, "Tori please. Let me take Natalie, you obviously need time to grieve alone."

Tori's eyes darkened as she glared back at her friend, "No. Stay away from me Cat, and stay away from my daughter."

* * *

**Hey guys :D**

**So yep, Tori has gone loco... and it's only going to get worse! See what the toxin is doing! :P**

**But yeah I just went for it with my Jade/flynn storyline, I loved her throwing the wrench originally it was going to smash the car but I thought this was funnier.**

**The question is will she rebuff him or not!?**

**Anyhoo as always leave a wee review!  
Love to all who read my stories **

**xoxoxox**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

Eyes opening with shock, the realisation of the predicament she was in finally became apparent after a minute of blissful affection. Jadelyn placed her hands on Flynn chest and willed herself to push them apart, locking eyes for a split second, intense blue waves washing over sea green, she gasped and forcefully pushed him over, resulting in the back of his head bashing against the ground. She scrambled away, her hands outstretched, palms facing him, signalling for him to not come any closer. She should had pulled away the second he thought it was appropriate to crash their lips together, but her feelings distracted her, they seemed to numb her senses, and they were all muddled, as if this kiss had thrown all of her emotions into a mixing bowl.

Glancing around frantically she stood up, leaving him seated on the ground, his forehead now a horrible blotched purple colour, and his hand placed on the back of his head, he winced when he touched it.

"I am going to assume you have a concussion." Lady Jadelyn hissed, "That is the only explanation for your actions."

Flynn groaned as he lightly touched his other injury, "Yeah what was I thinking, kissing you when you clearly didn't want me to."

"Exactly" she exclaimed, before she caught his still smug expression with that idiotic glint in his eyes, she scowled. "You were being sarcastic."

Rising to his feet, he staggered slightly as he made his way to the door, Jadelyn watched as he clutched on to the door and forced it open, she was about to call out to him, when he collapsed to the ground. Doubled over, he took deep breaths. Hastily she handed him a tin bucket from the corner of the room, passing it to just in time.

Throwing the bucket to the side, he managed to choke out one word, "Hospital." Before he passed out.

Jade placed her head in her hands, her eyes locked on the now unconscious driver who was lying at her feet. The acidic smell of vomit was beginning to fill the room, it was making her stomach churn. She only had a few options, and she did not like the sound of any of them. She could run from the garage and scream for help. But what would her father say if she ran up to call him? He would assume that Jade had hit him in self-defence, and then Flynn would be fired, or worse she thought as she chewed subconsciously on her fingernail, he would hand Flynn over to the police. Rushing to his side she shook him gently, calling out his name softly. He needed medical attention, but she could not bring him to the hospital without them asking all sorts of questions, and she certainly could not ask anyone to help her. This was all on her.

Taking a shaky breath, she grabbed him under his arms and heaved, slowly pulling him over to the car. Opening the back door she pushed him in, she prayed that no one would come in, that no one would spot the daughter of Lord Geoffrey West forcing an unconscious man into the back of her Ford car. Yelping from the effort she managed to get his body in the car, but it was tangled and at strange angles, like an odd pretzel.

Trying again, she slapped him in the face, "Flynn, wake up you moron!"

Panicking at the no response, she awkwardly dug into his trouser pockets and smiled when she pulled out the car keys. Closing over the curtains in the back of the car she slammed the door shut. Eyes flicking around the room she spotted his emerald-green coat and hat.

"I must be mad." she said to herself as she sat in the driver seat and started the ignition, cursing under her breath she straightened the cap over her hair and glanced in the back at the still unconscious chauffeur.

"Don't worry Flynn." she promised, "I'll get you help."

Slamming her foot down on the pedal the car lurched forward, Jade bit down on her lip so forcefully as she twisted the wheel, that she could taste iron on her tongue. She had to force back a scream as she raced down the lane and shot through her gate, lightly grazing the side of the wall. She cursed at the thought of the paint that was peeled away from the door, she would not be able to hide that from her parents. But she could not dwell on it, she had to look in control as a chauffeur would be. Avoiding the glare and gazes of everyone she flew past, she kept her eyes trained on the road, she could do this, she could drive a car. Several cars swerved to avoid her, her grip on the wheel was so tight by this stage, she reckoned they would have to use a crowbar to removed them. Turning into the gates she raced up the driveway. She smiled when she reached her destination, complete relief washing over her as she pressed her foot on the brake pedal.

Tossing off the hat and the coat she raced over to the door, desperate to find her.

"Jade?"

Spinning around she was greeted by a sullen looking Cat, her normally warm brown eyes where red raw from crying, "What are you doing?" she asked, completely bewildered by what she had just seen.

"Thank God." Jadelyn exclaimed, "I need your help. Can you keep a secret?"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Lady Caterina was a master in all things strange, she had lived her whole life with people taunting her and calling her names, even just last year she had come up with that ridiculous plan to dress up as her own fiancé. But at this particular moment, Jadelyn West was in a league of her very own. Caterina had just emerged from the woods, after her disastrous conversation with Tori, she felt as if someone had cut out a segment of her heart, how could Tori have been so cruel to her? She was torn, she should have felt betrayed, she wanted to feel that way, but their was a small part of her that questioned what Tori had said, was it true? Was she so self-obsessed with her relationship that she had forgot to ask Tori about hers, it certainly did not seem like something she would do. However it was possible that her grief over losing Robbie had made her blind to the feelings of those closest to her.

Fortunately for the redhead she was pulled out of these thoughts because at that exact moment, Jadelyn had sped up the drive. At the beginning obviously she had not realised it was Jade driving the vehicle, all she had seen was a blur of green in the front seat as it skidded to a halt in front of her Manor. But the insane driving told her the only thing she needed to know: that something was wrong. Picking up the end of her long gray skirt she jogged up the drive to see the girl jump out of the front seat and pull off the uniform. Now that completely confused her, why did she feel it was necessary to play dress-up she did not know, but she guessed that she would find out soon enough.

After Jadelyn had made her swear this would be kept a secret, she then opened the back of car to reveal an unconscious chauffeur, Caterina went to squeal but Jadelyn shushed her by slapping her hand over the smaller girl's mouth.

"I'll explain after you examine him." she begged, her blue eyes glazed over with tears, "Please Cat, he really is not well."

Lowering her hand, Caterina instantly stepped into nurse mode, together the pulled the man carefully out of the car and each took a side as they brought him into the atrium. After strenuous effort they managed to lie him down on one of the chaise lounges, Caterina called in one of the maids and ordered a bowl of water and a cloth.

"What exactly happened?" she barked at Jade as the maid brought over the bowl.

"He got hit with a wrench, then he fell and whacked his head on the floor." she answered quickly, avoiding Caterina's critical stare.

"What do you mean he got hit with a wrench. Is his brain magnetic or something, did it just magically attract itself to his forehead?" Caterina replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she applied pressure to the bump on his head.

"Okay so I may have passed it to him a little too forcefully." she fabricated, "But I did not mean to hurt him. I swear. Is he going to be okay?"

Caterina mumbled under her breath as she felt his pulse,"Well lucky for you I think this is only a mild concussion. Go and get me my kit it's in the study, he needs pain medication."

Just then Sir. Robert walked in on this lovely scene. The sight of his wife leaning over a man on the sofa made him choke on his cigar, sending small puffs of smoke into the atmosphere as he asked, "Why is there an unconscious chauffeur on our sofa?"

Caterina shrugged, "I do not know, Jade is yet to tell me the entire story. Robbie if you are going to smoke can you please move away. The fumes make my head go fuzzy and I need to concentrate."

"Do you need anything?"

She shook her head, not taking her eyes from the chauffeur, brushing the hair from his eyes, "No, I'm alright."

Jadelyn returned to the room, carrying Caterina's bulky kit. Her eyes buldged when she spotted her cousin standing on the other side of the room. He was leaning against the door frame, smirking at her, his eyes flicking from the chauffeur then back to her. He winked at her before sighing theatrically.

"Well I will leave you girls to it. I suppose I should go and distract your mother, she will more than likely have a fit if she realises there's an oil-reeking, passed out man on her good sofa."

Jade glared at him as he turned his back to them and walked off, whistling merrily as he rounded the corner and disappeared from sight, she would have stalked after him and demand to know what he was insinuating, but the sound of someone moaning made her eyes snap back to Cat and Flynn, his eyes snapped open as he tried to sit up. Tentatively Cat placed her hands on his shoulders and forced him back down. Jadelyn watched on enviously, Caterina had performed that single movement with so much more grace than she had.

"You are okay, you just moved to quickly after you hit your head." she said soothingly, "Just try to relax. Now can you tell me your name?"

"Nathan Flynn." he mumbled as his eyes darted around the room, "Where I am, who are you?"

Caterina smiled warmly at him, "I'm Nurse Shapiro, Lady Jadelyn brought you to my house to be examined. Just rest, I'll check on you in a while."

Nodding Caterina lay the cloth on his forehead, then uses the ends of the sofa she propelled herself up and walked straight over to Jade, gesturing to follow her, the raven-haired girl grimaced as she stepped into the lounge. Caterina gently closed the door and turned to Jade, her eyes studying the guilty woman as she gazed down at her feet.

"Thank you." Jade said reluctantly as she poured herself out a drink, "I don't know what I would have done had it not been for you."

"Why didn't you just take him to the hospital? You thought it was more appropriate to dress up as him and drive manically up to my house? I'm sure Dr. Carter would have looked at him, you know eventually." Caterina said as she sank into the armchair closest to her, drained from the day's dramatic occurrences.

"Because I was alone with him when it happened and I could not tell my father or alert anyone. I am only trusting you with this Cat, so I drove him up to you. Plus you are one to talk about dressing up as a man, need I remind you of Lord Fitzgerald." she cunningly replied before gulping down the liquor. She quickly filled the glass again, "I should have not been there and you know how it looks, my father and mother would have twisted it."

"Keep your voice down!" Caterina hissed, "My mother has sonic ears, and you never know where she is hiding in this house. Look, what I do not understand is why you chucked a wrench at him in the first place, did he attack you?" she asked her voice alert, "Is he dangerous?"

"No." Jade responded, her voice harsher than she had intended, she softened it before she continued, "He's not the one that is dangerous, I am."

"Then why?" Caterina urged, as she threw her hands up in annoyance, "What possible reason could you have for injuring him?"

"I like him." she finally admitted, she swallowed the remains of her glass, wincing at the taste, "I hit him with the wrench because I like him."

* * *

**Any excuse for me to dress more girls up in hilarious scenarios :P Regardless I did enjoy writing that bit!**

**Oh a Jade chapter! I quite like the way this is not completely Cabbie centric, that everyone gets there own bit. Anyway leave me a wee review and what not!**

**Oh yes CabbieLoverSAC22, Flynn was introduced in chapter four and has been in it frequently since and Cheery 22 it was a metaphorical toxin!**

**Sorry for the confusion guys!**

**Anyway Bye!**

**xoxoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

With a shaking hand she uncorked the drink, taking a swing straight from the neck of the bottle. The liquor was cheap and therefore did not have a pleasant taste; it burned the inside of her mouth as she swallowed it quickly. She groaned before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Over the past three months Tori Vega found that alcohol was an excellent substitution for pain. She had never really been a big drinker; she could never fully comprehend why people particularly liked what it turned them into. She had witnessed the most conservative of women turn into wildcats and the politest gentlemen that Yorkshire had to offer, turn into bumbling idiots, throwing badly aimed punches for no reason until they were kicked out of the local pub. Then they would all stagger home, destined to feel horribly mortified in the morning over their actions. But after the death of Beck she found that a drink before bed would help her sleep at night. It made you feel momentarily numb, for a short period of time alcohol made you feel almost weightless, problems were a thing of the past, not to be dwelled on. It was just the right amount of time she needed for her lids to feel heavy and for her drift off into a restful slumber.

But as the days passed by, she found herself taking a sip more every night. Every night she would find herself in the same state after rocking Natalie to sleep. She would hum softly to her baby as her eyes fluttered shut, her breathing steadying as fell asleep. But then the trickle and splat of tears on her small cheeks would wake her up and Tori would have to repeat the process over again. Cursing inwardly about how weak she was, she would soothe her now wailing child, her fingers drawing circles over her back as she walked around the small cottage. Natalie was increasing becoming more of a chore for the single mother.

After a day of work she had come home to find that she was walking, her child had taken her first steps. Jane stood awkwardly by the door as Tori had collapsed to the floor, her emotions so mixed that she could not be entirely sure why she was crying; she was happy for her daughter but it was overridden by the feeling of immense sadness. Natalie did not seem to notice her mother's apparent woes, instead he run out the door and pulled at the weeds that grew in their small front garden.

That night Tori had taken two glasses before bed, the memories of Beck harder to suppress than before.

Then yesterday she had began teething, which meant that she wailed constantly for hours. This had driven the widow to the very edge; she was exhausted from all of the work Cat had seemed to pile on to her today. She imagined that it was because Major Shapiro had just left Yorkshire once again to return to the war front, that morning when she had emerged from her room, her hand wrapped securely around his as she they walked together down the path towards the train station, Tori did glance back as she passed them and she could not help but notice the pain in her eyes and the tears that were trailing down her cheeks.

Good, she thought to herself, it was about time the redhead knew what it felt like.

Since the fight that had broken out between the two best friends, neither one of them had tried to mend the bridge that was quickly crumbling into dust. They did not acknowledge each other as they crossed each other on the path, although Sir. Shapiro's eyes had darted between the pair. It seemed as if they were both invisible, breezing past each other without so much as a second glance. Not that Tori cared, she was certain that she had done the right thing. Her relationship with Caterina was doomed to fail from the beginning, they were from different worlds. Caterina from birth was destined to grow into the conceited woman she is today. It was in her blood. But Tori had to admit that she was surprised that she had not dismissed her the moment she had behaved with such insolence, she assumed that it would only be a matter of time. Caterina had an image to upkeep, she was the town sweetheart. She would wait until Beck's death had settled until she would throw out the maid on the street.

Returning back to her cottage, she wove through the woods to lessen her journey, her throat was already pleading for something to drink. She needed to quell the pain that was coursing through her. Then she heard Natalie, even before she had stepped into the cottage she could hear her child's strong lungs working to their full potential, creating such a powerful scream that made Tori's heart sink. Taking slow steps backwards she stepped away from her house and rushed back into the woods. Hiding behind the nearest tree she slid down to the soft earth below, the harsh bark scratching her back slightly as she buckled under her own weight.

The love for a child is like no other, it's innate and instant, you are immediately programmed to love something that was a part of you for nine months, living and growing as each day passes inside of you. But as much as it even pained Tori to even think it, she knew that a small part of her resented her daughter. She made coping that much harder, she could barely look after herself. In that past three months, her nails had been bitten down to the cuticle, she had lost her appetite, only eating one meal a day to keep her going. She was terribly worn-down, her body sore from heart-ache. Each day she had to come home and look after Natalie, who she was reminded with a painful stab to the chest, looked more like Beck as each day passed. She also reminded her of what she used to be like as a child; full of energy and adventurous. She knew it was completely idiotic, but she was jealous of her daughter. Envious of her oblivious nature, she knew nothing of the pain her mother struggled to cope with everyday.

Eventually the girl rose and returned to her cottage where Natalie was still having a tantrum; she opened the door and gave a weak smile to Jane who was trying her best to calm her. Relief washed over Jane's face immediately as she handed the child over to her mother.

"I cannot get her to settle." She explained, her face red, as if she had just ran a great distance, "I am sorry Tori. Maybe she just needs a mother's touch."

Tori forced her lips to pull upwards, to smile at Jane, "Maybe." She muttered as she set Natalie back down.

Walking over to the mantelpiece she opened the small box that she kept atop it, it held her money. She dreaded opening it, she had no savings left. Pouring out the remaining coins, she counted out the right amount and handed it to Jane. Thanking Tori, she quickly bolted out the door, having no desire to stay at the depressing Oliver household. Natalie face was the colour of Caterina's hair as she continued to screech, her small hands curled into fists as her arms swung angrily.

Tori collapsed onto the table beside the mantelpiece, annoying the child's cries. Placing her head on her folded arms that were on the table, she closed her eyes. She was overwhelmed, so incredibly overwhelmed.

"Stop." She mumbled, she slammed her fist down on the table as she glared at her daughter, "Stop!" she yelled as she stormed into the kitchen. Pulling out the bottle she swallowed a mouthful of the liquor she had stolen from the big house days ago.

"I am miserable too Natalie!" She screamed at her daughter who had stopped crying, her watery eyes gazing at her mother.

The knock at the door made Tori drop her bottle in surprise, her heart lurched as the bottle smashed, the precious red wine spilling on to the stone floor, immediately she thought of blood, Beck's blood, gushing out of his body as he lay dead. Her stomach flipped in disgust as she stepped over the broken glass, not caring that it cut her feet. Swinging the door open she stared into the cold eyes of Mr. Davidson, her landlord, Caterina may have given her the house as a wedding gift but that did not mean it came without conditions.

Forcing past her, he grunted at the broken bottle on the floor, his eyes flicking over to Natalie who was sitting down in her crib, her hands clutching her small rabbit toy.

"Bad time." This was more of a statement than a question as he made himself comfortable by the crackling fire.

"Yes." Tori voice was cold as she grabbed her brush and began to sweep up the broken glass, "I was just about to put Natalie to bed."

"You know why I am here then?" he asked as he opened the small box on top of the mantelpiece, his long, beak-like nose practically poking into it as he peered in, noting her limited funds, "Well this is simply not enough to pay the debt."

Tori's heart began beating rapidly, she turned to her landlord, her hastened footsteps leaving small speckles of blood as she rushed to his side, "I can get you the money I need." She promised him, "I forgot that you were collecting tonight."

With a cruel smile, he tutted at the girl, "Pity, I will miss your pretty face when you are evicted."

Desperately Tori placed her hands around the man's coat, clutching it as she looked directly in his eyes, "Please. I just need more time."

With a look of disgust the man flicked her hands from him, "No. I have been lenient enough with you Victoria and now your time is up. You have to leave, tonight. Pack your bags."

"No please." Tori yelped, her tears making it difficult to speak, "There must be some way I can pay. I will do anything."

That caught the male's attention; his eye raked the girl's form. She would have been more attractive he thought, if she had looked liked the girl he had first met when she had moved in with her husband. The girl standing before her was broken, her lip quivering as she took a step away from him and pressed herself against the wall, her eyes darting to her daughter nervously.

"Well there is one way." he said as he approached, "But this would only pay a month, this would not give you security forever and you tell no one. Do you understand?"

With a shaky breath Tori nodded, "I understand." She whispered.

Immediately he roughly grabbed her and pressed his lips to hers, every nerve in her body was pleading with her to push him from her, to slap him or throw him in the fire and watch his carcass burn. She wished she had not dropped her wine; the drink would have helped her get through this. She tried to scream as he ripped off her dress, but no noise came out, instead she remained silent as she was forced down on to the mattress.

She glanced at her daughter who was staring at the scene and her eyes began to fill with tears, "Don't look." She murmured to her daughter, "Close your eyes."

Somehow Natalie responded to her pleas, she must of understood, heard the desperation in her mother's eyes. Tori kept her eyes trained on Natalie, watching as she rolled around, her face pointed towards the wall, away from her mother. Then she too shut her eyes and she could see Beck, as if he was tattooed on the inside of her lid. Her eyes began to sting once more with salty tears, what had she become in his absence, abandonment had made her into something she never thought she would be. She apologised to Beck, for betraying him in such an awful way, she would never forgive herself for this. For as long as she was alive she would have to live with this moment, this lapse of judgement. She hated herself for being so weak.

He left as soon as he got what he wanted from the young maid, leaving her to curl up in the fetal position, her head leaning against the cold stone wall. She was shaking uncontrollably, her legs had failed her, she could not bring herself to stand up. She felt violated and lonelier than ever. Rising from bed she stared around at what she had tried to save, she had sold herself for a cottage that she loathed.

She did not want this to be her life, not making enough money to pay for food for Natalie and herself, for her to be cared for while she works, to pay for her house and necessities. She did not even know who she was anymore, she had not glanced in a mirror for months because she was scared of the reflection that she would see staring back at her, she was a monster.

Grabbing her clothes she glanced down at the ribbed fabric, Beck had bought her this dress. This was the very dress she had said her vows in. It was once her best dress. Finally finding the strength she stepped over to the chest of drawers and began to dress herself, several times she had to steady herself, she was pathetically weak with remorse for her actions.

She wanted Beck, so much that it caused her stomach to ache with such a ferocity that she had to take a seat. gazing around she thought of staying in this cottage forever and it made her want to cry more, why had she giving away her dignity to save this house, so she could spend another day wishing for another life?

Grabbing a page and a pen she began to ferociously write a letter of apology, of guilt, every single emotion she had felt from the moment that she had heard she lost him. Then she addressed it to the only person she wanted to read it.

Then she picked up her Natalie who had finally fallen asleep, kissing her soft hair, she grabbed the small blanket and she walked out of her house and started up the path towards Blackwater. Darkness had swept over the landscape but that did not matter to Tori Oliver, she had walked up this path so many times that it was impossible for her to be led astray.

Kissing her daughter once more she tapped lightly on the back door of the Manor, she waited outside as the back light was switched on and finally Mrs. Grey opened the door slightly.

"Tori?" she asked, her eyes squinted as she stared at the girl, "What is it?"

"I was wondering if you could watch Natalie for an hour." she asked as she held her out, "She is sleeping so she will be no problem."

Mrs. Grey, taking pity on the poor girl, took her daughter into her beefy arms, "Only because it is you."

Tori smiled as she handed her daughter over to the friendly cook, "Thank you so much. I shan't be too long."

With that the cook watched as she rushed back into the night, her figure dissolving into the blackened garden. Bolting the door shut, Mrs. Gray carried little Natalie Oliver up several flights of stairs to the servants rooms. Knocking on one of the younger girl's bedroom door, she opened it quickly, still dressed in her unifrom, she glanced perplexedly at the cook.

"What?" she asked as she rubbed her tried eyes, "I was just about to put the lights out."

"I am putting Natalie in the empty bed beside you, it's only for an hour." she explained as she lay the small child on her back and unwrapped the blanket from her.

As she pulled the blanket up a piece of folded paper floated to the floor. Both of the staff members stared at the page, until Betty, the young maid, picked it up and glanced at the front.

"It's addressed to Lady Shapiro." she told the cook as she rushed to the door.

"Where are you running off to?" the cook hissed as she followed her.

"To give her the letter." she answered as she rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious response in the world.

In a matter of minutes Betty was gently rapping on the library door, Lady Shapiro's eyes shot up and she smiled warmly at her.

"Beg your pardon Ma'am." Betty said timidly as she walked over to her, "This letter was addressed to you."

Quickly Caterina rose and accepted the letter unfolded it quickly, she unfolded it with haste. The maid watched as her Ladyship's eyes flew over the letter, her smile fading as she read on.

Then her screams filled the manor, heart-wrenching screams that woke the entire manor. Causing chaos as they all rushed to their Ladyship's aid, demanding what they could do to help. But no one could help, Caterina already knew it was too late. She could feel it, as if a someone had stuck their hand down her throat and pulled out all of her vital organs.

Because in the little cottage, at the very end of the lane. Behind the closed doors, lay a woman who she loved dearly. Despite the argument, the love she had for Tori would never fade. She was and always would be her best friend. But she knew, that she had already went through it.

She lay in her tiny kitchen, with a shard of glass in her hand that glowed red in the moonlight as blood poured from her wrists. She smiled as she lost consciousness, feeling the happiest she has been in months because she knew that this was the end of all of her troubles, that Natalie would be better without her because she could not be the mother she deserved and she knew in her heart there was someone else who could love her more. She would finally be with him, it was the only way.

In death, she would be reunited with Beck Oliver.

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**Yeah I know... I upped the rating because of this chapter.**

**Not Cabbie centric at all but it's a war story, it's not meant to be all rainbows and dances :'( **

**Dark, really really sickeningly dark! But I did warn you all that Tori would have a sad story ahead of her. :'( Poor, poor Tori.**

**She just could not cope with her grief after alienating everyone.**

**I really hope you noticed what i tried to do though, especially if you have read the first chapter of LATS .**

**And if you have not already please check out Lady and the Scamp (for happier times with Tori and Cat) and my new story Strange Occurences! :D**

**Please.. I promise they are more light-hearted! **

**Sorry if I depressed you all! But I believe that if I made you feel anything then i suceeded! **

**Anyway RIP Tori/Beck.**

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

** Chapter Eleven **

Since becoming a nurse, Caterina had become immune to the side effects of seeing blood. Over the past few months the number of wounded soldiers had risen dramatically, meaning that every moment she stepped into the Valentine Hospital, she was greeted to men howling in pain, as open wounds frothed with new, warm blood.

But even this could not prepare her for the massacre at Tori Oliver's cottage.

When she first saw the letter, she recognised the loopy, elegant swerve of her handwriting. Her heart soared with hope that maybe this was a letter of peace and recognition and it was both of those things; but it was also a farewell letter, one that very nearly broke her friend's heart. That's the problem with suffering, Caterina learnt from a young age that it was like a baton, someone would carry it around with them until it was resolved, but then sadly, it had to be passed on to someone else. Tori apologised, not for her behaviour towards Cat, but for her cowardice. She had tried so hard to climb the wall that was blocking her from ever feeling anything but grief. It became clear to her on this night that she would never be able to live in this word without someone to support her. Cat wanted so much to run to her and tell her that she was not alone, she realised that she had been a fool for letting Tori so easily push her away; that she would care for her, and she would always have a home if Caterina had anything to say about it.

Then she read on, Tori explained about her debt. The debt she had gotten herself into because she had found a companion in alcohol. Caterina let out a pathetic whimper as she read on, her hand over her mouth as she screamed.

"Oh Tori." She whispered, "Why?"

She felt her heart lurch into her throat when she read about Mr. Davidson, a man who Caterina had known since childhood. For years he had taken care of the business side of the Manor, he overlooked all of the payments for the cottages, he had been a friend of her fathers. How could she have never seen him for what he was?

Crushing the letter in her hand Tori turned to Betty, who by this stage, was looking at her Mistress as if she was going to throw up, her hand was quivering at her sides as Cat clutched her by the shoulders.

"Who gave you this?" Caterina demanded as she dragged the maid with her to the front room, "Was it Tori?"

Betty shook her head furiously, "No Ma'am it was Mrs. Grey, she was carrying little Natalie and it was covered up by the blankets. We did not find it until we lay her down on one of the beds."

Grabbing her shawl she wrapped it around her, fastening it swiftly as she grabbed her emergency medical kit. Racing over to the front entrance, Cat furiously swung the heavy door open, the bitter night breeze nipping her cheeks, "There may still be time." She said, although her voice wavered, showing her lack of confidence in her words, "Keep watch of Natalie."

Leaping from the front step, Caterina sprinted towards the woods, making a beeline for the cottage. How long would it take her if she kept up this speed she wondered, five minutes, maybe seven? The cold air made her eyes water as her shawl blew out around her like a cape. She tried to remember her training, from the letter it was obvious what Tori plans where, but there was so many ways she could have done this and there was no certainty she was in the cottage. But it was the only logical place Caterina could look.

Her heart banged against her chest, the kit weighing down one side of her body as she emerged into the small secluded area where Tori's cottage lay. Not even wasting time to catch her breath Caterina rushed up to the front door and pulled on the handle, Tori had locked it. Gritting her teeth she set down her kit and took a step back. She cried out as she began to bash her shoulder against the door, the hinges creaked and groaned in protest as she tried it once more, her arm ached by the time the door gave in and burst open. Caterina fell to the ground, she closed her eyes and she placed her hands out to lessen the fall. The impact was painful, but not enough for Caterina to give up, then she realised her clothes where beginning to dampen, she whimpered when she opened her eyes and realised her clothes where stained red.

For the first time in months the sight of blood made Caterina cry, it was still warm to touch, with a stench of copper that filled her nostrils and made her stomach her churn. She crawled to Tori's side, her eyes glistening over with large tears as she placed her head in her lap. Tentatively she placed her two fingers on her exposed neck and waited, praying to feel a pulse. She counted quietly as the second passed by; she took her fingers away when she reached a minute.

She was too late.

With a shaky breath she pulled Tori's hair away from her face, the ends were matted together with dry blood. Leaning down Caterina kissed her cold forehead.

"I love you." She whispered before lifting her lips away.

She sat there for a while, cradling Tori in her arms. She could not believe the girl she was holding was her best friend; this girl was so fragile, so sickly thin that Cat thought she could have snapped when she tried to move her. Then she rose and walked away to grab her kit, pulling it into the room, she snapped the clips open and brought out some gauze. Filling a bowl with water she grabbed a cloth and began to wash the blood from Tori's face and wrists. She bit down on her tongue as she handled the wrists, aware of the torture she was putting herself through. She realised now that it was much easier to treat someone who meant nothing to you, it was the memories that made this task so difficult. These were Tori's wrists, her brittle wrists that she could wrap her thumb and her forefinger around. Countless times Caterina had grabbed though wrists to get her attention, or take her away to change out of her ridiculous man costume, when they were younger Cat had woven a friendship bracelet made of grass and had placed it on this very wrist. Never would she have imagined that eleven years from then she would instead be wrapping gauze around her now butchered wrists.

Even though her knees bashed together when she stood, she managed to walk over to the mantel piece. Leaning over she poked the glower embers of the fire, willing them to light as she gently blew on them, she needed to create more light. Sparks began to crackle as it danced across the piece of wood that she had just thrown in. Sitting down with her legs crossed, she watched as it ignited, creating a small inferno in the fireplace. She watched as the fire illuminated the room, creating shadows that seemed to sway on the walls, with a heavy sigh; she stood in front of the bed, her eyes narrowing at the twisted sheets and the ripped dress that sat on top of it. She could feel her stomach acid froth and bubble as she thought of Mr. Davidson, a man she had always thought of as friendly. This was where he had violated her friend. A screech tore out of her as she clutched the sheets and dress and threw them into the fire, she watched the burn, glad to see them wither away to ashes. Storming over to the dresser she pulled it open and grabbed new sheets, she dressed the bed quickly, making it as neatly as possible. She had never done this before, she thought with cruel irony, it seemed that her and Tori had switched roles. Eventually Caterina stepping around the pool of blood, grabbed the mop and bucket and began to clean the floor to the best of her ability. It amazed her how quickly the blood was absorbed into the rags attached to the head of the mop; in an instant it was completely red. She changed the water four times until the floor was respectable.

Wiping her brow, she rose, her cheeks ablaze from the effort. Once again returned to the small dresser that held all of the girl's possessions, crouching on her knees she opened the bottom drawer and rifled through it until she found a clean shirt and skirt. Finally she picked out a pretty pink, starched shirt with a thick, woolen plaid skirt. Flying back over to Tori, she spoke to her gentle as she shed her of her blood stained clothes, replacing them with the clean clothes she picked out.

With strenuous effort the smaller girl managed to lift the feather light maid into her arms, she weighed no more than small bale of hay as she lay her down on the soft mattress, her head falling neatly on to the middle of the pillow. Caterina lifted the covers and draped the around her waist, Tori's hand connected together as they sat atop her small stomach. Caterina finally sat at the end of the bed, unable to rip her gaze away from her best friend.

Caterina had always been jealous of Tori's naturally sun kissed skin, of her superior height and calm, reassuring nature. It was hard to believe that she would never again hear Tori's voice, or see her toothy smile. Never again would her skin feel warm to touch or her heart beat, fluttering rapidly with anticipation when she heard the name Beck Oliver.

"I should have helped you sooner." Cat said as she touched Tori's icy arm, "I was just so livid at you because you were right. Everything you said about me was right. I was selfish for not asking you about Beck. I ignored you because I was so engrossed with my own petty problems." She said; her voice laced with self-loathing.

"I wish I could have stopped you from doing this." Caterina's voice wobbled slightly, cracking as she tried to continue, "What will I do without your guidance? What will Natalie do without her mother?"

She stared at Tori, wanting nothing more than to see her bounce up and laugh in her face, to tell her that this was all in her imagination or that she was playing an elaborate prank. Sadly, she knew reality did not work like that, no matter how much she prayed or wished.

The rising sun warned Caterina Shapiro of the day ahead of her, that everyone back at the Manor would be anxiously waiting for her return, desperate to know why she had rushed down to Tori Oliver's house with her kit. With a heart like lead she rose from the bed and leaned down to kiss her cold cheek one last time.

As she rose she spotted a small toy in the crib, a soft little rabbit. Leaning over she picked up the small rabbit, it was in its own right, a veteran. Caterina had given it to Tori when they were younger, the only present the girl had received on her seventh birthday. Caterina pocketed the memento, vowing to pass it back to Natalie. With a final glance she gazed at Tori. Cat could not deny that in death Tori looked so at peace with herself, a ghost of a smile on her lips as she lay on the mattress. She could have just been asleep, Caterina noted as she picked up her kit and walked out the door. She did not glance back at the cottage as she made her way up the path, instead she kept her eyes to the ground, tears marking the soil were they fell as she marched back to Blackwater Manor. Preparing herself to tell everyone the tragedy that had just struck their small village.

* * *

**Cori friendship! :( That's all I have to say apart from I am writing the next chapter of Strange Occurences ATM so expect it soon! **

**xox**


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